fear imported U.S. beef will be tainted with mad cow disease.
Sea Hogs owner said to suffer from mad cow disease
By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press
In a not altogether surprising turn of events, suspended Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs owner Triki Bobber has been linked to the massive, street protests in South Korea over the importation of U.S. beef, the AWP has learned.
Speaking only on condition of anonymity, a high-placed official within South Korea's National Intelligence Service revealed that Bobber was the original source of black-market beef infected with mad cow disease — the very beef which made its way to South Korea through North Korea and flamed the fears which led to the recent demonstrations against the South Korean government.
Bobber's connections to North Korean dictator Kim Jon II have been well-documented, and there are unsubstantiated reports that Bobber tried to purchase a nuclear weapon from the renegade nation, but the deal fell through when the dictator discovered that Bobber had paid him in counterfeit money.
According to the NIS source, when the North Koreans discovered a large shipment of beef Bobber sold them was infected with the disease, they unloaded it on the South Korean black market. The source also told the AWP that apparently Bobber himself suffers from bovine spongiform encephalopathy, aka BSE or mad cow disease, as a result of eating the tainted beef.
Bobber has not been seen since the big public celebration he hosted on Fidalgo Island following the Sea Hogs' victory over the West Nashville Beelzebubbas in the 2007 championship game. Shortly thereafter, he was suspended by NFFA deputy commissioners Mo and Cash Money, the Sea Hogs were stripped of their title, and Jorge Linardo was dispatched to take over day-to-day operation of the franchise.
Speaking from Fidalgo Island, Linardo said he was impressed with the franchise's operations. "Bobber's method of laundering money from his criminal enterprises through the Sea Hogs' legitimate business front would make even Q. Diddy envious," Linardo said. He went on to explain that GQ Denney had changed his name to Q. Diddy because it made him one letter cooler than P. Diddy.
When asked if any of the Sea Hogs staff had mentioned the possibility that Bobber had mad cow disease, Linardo said they hadn't, but added sympathetically, "That might explain why he's criminally insane."
NFFA spokesperson Steven Pindoctor said by phone this afternoon that the league had "no knowledge of Bobber's whereabouts, the state of his health, or any business activities he may have outside the NFFA." Pindoctor declined to comment on the status of either the embattled Sea Hogs owner's suspension or the investigation by league security into the alleged, but undisclosed violations by him. The league mouthpiece ended the conversation with a terse "no comment" when the subject of Commissioner William D. Money's whereabouts was raised.
Speaking only on condition of anonymity, a high-placed official within South Korea's National Intelligence Service revealed that Bobber was the original source of black-market beef infected with mad cow disease — the very beef which made its way to South Korea through North Korea and flamed the fears which led to the recent demonstrations against the South Korean government.
Bobber's connections to North Korean dictator Kim Jon II have been well-documented, and there are unsubstantiated reports that Bobber tried to purchase a nuclear weapon from the renegade nation, but the deal fell through when the dictator discovered that Bobber had paid him in counterfeit money.
According to the NIS source, when the North Koreans discovered a large shipment of beef Bobber sold them was infected with the disease, they unloaded it on the South Korean black market. The source also told the AWP that apparently Bobber himself suffers from bovine spongiform encephalopathy, aka BSE or mad cow disease, as a result of eating the tainted beef.
Bobber has not been seen since the big public celebration he hosted on Fidalgo Island following the Sea Hogs' victory over the West Nashville Beelzebubbas in the 2007 championship game. Shortly thereafter, he was suspended by NFFA deputy commissioners Mo and Cash Money, the Sea Hogs were stripped of their title, and Jorge Linardo was dispatched to take over day-to-day operation of the franchise.
Speaking from Fidalgo Island, Linardo said he was impressed with the franchise's operations. "Bobber's method of laundering money from his criminal enterprises through the Sea Hogs' legitimate business front would make even Q. Diddy envious," Linardo said. He went on to explain that GQ Denney had changed his name to Q. Diddy because it made him one letter cooler than P. Diddy.
When asked if any of the Sea Hogs staff had mentioned the possibility that Bobber had mad cow disease, Linardo said they hadn't, but added sympathetically, "That might explain why he's criminally insane."
NFFA spokesperson Steven Pindoctor said by phone this afternoon that the league had "no knowledge of Bobber's whereabouts, the state of his health, or any business activities he may have outside the NFFA." Pindoctor declined to comment on the status of either the embattled Sea Hogs owner's suspension or the investigation by league security into the alleged, but undisclosed violations by him. The league mouthpiece ended the conversation with a terse "no comment" when the subject of Commissioner William D. Money's whereabouts was raised.
