Thursday, September 27, 2007

MOJO, BUBBAS QUESTION NFFA INTEGRITY


West Nashville owner Boyd X. Biggs, shown here in a reflective
mood at the Cherry Bomb Café, wonders if NFFA scoring is legit.


MOJO, BUBBAS QUESTION NFFA INTEGRITY
Bobber Fined Yet Again


By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, Fantasy Sports Network

In a development that threatens to shake the NFFA to its core, owners of both the Midtown Mojo and West Nashville Beelzebubbas questioned the league’s integrity Tuesday following their weekend match-up.

It is believed to be the first time both the winners and losers of an NFFA game complained of unfairness.

On Monday, Mojo D suggested that Commissioner William D. Money was manipulating scores in favor of the Beelzebubbas, after the Bubbas rallied from behind to take the lead. Mojo D had even issued a taunting press release claiming victory before his team fell behind — a move that East Nashville’s Jim McMahon laughingly described as “premature smackulation” at his Wednesday press conference.

For his part, West Nashville Coach Boyd X. Biggs questioned Money’s integrity, saying, “When your team has scored 1075 more points than any other team, and you’re only 1-2, you know something’s up — like maybe Money’s bank balance.” (The Beelzebubbas actually have scored only 33.5 more points than the next highest total, by the Fidalgo Island Seahogs.)

Money took no action Wednesday against either team, instead levying a $100,000 fine against the Seahogs, whom Money suggested had “poisoned the well” by becoming the first organization to question the commissioner’s basic fairness.

From a different corner, Bobber took a verbal hit along with the financial one. During his address to the United Nations in New York, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denounced “Tinky Boober” as a prime example of “American criminal imperialist insanity, and by the way also homosexuality, which of course does not exist in Iran.”

According to Ahmadinejad, it was the “depth of hypocrisy” for the United States to demand that Iran end its “peaceful” nuclear program while allowing proliferation by Bobber, whom the Iranian leader characterized as “the little Satan.” Ahmadinejad failed to mention the U.S. Army’s invasion of Fidalgo Island last December.

After being told of Ahmadinejad’s remarks, McMahon smiled and began similarly referring to Bobber, whose team repelled the Black Dogs on Monday, as “Li’l Satan” or “L.S.” He also referred to Mojo D as “Mini-Me” and a “rookie world dominator wannabe who’s not criminal enough or insane enough for prime time yet.”

McMahon’s weekly Q&A at the Cherry Bomb Cafe ended in chaos after a young male questioner, apparently inspired by a current TV ad campaign, asked McMahon, “Coach, did you know somebody just took off with your Coors Light?”

McMahon replied, “Fortunately, I have an answer for you here in my pocket.” Then he reached in and produced a 9mm pistol, which he aimed directly at his interrogator as people fled the room in panicked shouts. “It probably wasn’t loaded,” McMahon told police, who were seen escorting the questioner and several other young men — who appeared to be wearing Midtown Mojo T-shirts beneath their jackets — into an elevator that leads to the basement of the Cherry Bomb.