CALIFORNIA DREAMING? Rumors swirl the 12th Avenue franchise will become L.A. Bakers

Bakers owner QCurl Sharif was spotted with starlet Lindsay Lohan
during Wednesday night's Lakers-Clippers contest at Staples Center.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports

Widespread rumors that the 12th Avenue Bakers will relocate to Los Angeles during the offseason gained new momentum this week in the face of the failure of the Bakers’ organization to specifically deny them.

The rumors apparently were set off by a perhaps coincidental visit to the city by Bakers owner QCurl Sharif, who was spotted leaving the Los Angeles County Municipal Building and later was seen touring the Los Angeles Coliseum, which was the home field for the Raiders the last time pro football was played in the city. Sharif’s itinerary — he also reportedly met with actor and longtime friend George Clooney — fueled speculation that the purpose of the trip was to explore the possibility of relocating the beloved, but long-suffering NFFA franchise to California.

While they have not mentioned the Bakers’ organization by name as a target, officials in Los Angeles County have long been known to covet a return of professional football to the area.

In Los Angeles this week, the rumors triggered something of a groundswell of grassroots support for bringing Sharif’s team to town — including T-shirts sporting the name Los Angeles Bakers with a cannabis leaf in the background. Graffiti with the slogan ¡Viva Los Bakers! also has appeared around the city.

As some analysts have pointed out, the move would make sense on several levels. “The Bakers are just one among four teams fighting for attention and turf in Nashville,” noted ESPN’s Skip Clueless. “They could own the L.A. market. They already have a national following, thanks to QCurl and his high-profile celebrity friends, many of whom live in L.A. Plus, you saw what moving out of Nashville did for the Mojo, who were arguably the most festered operation in the history of the league. Sure, they choked this season, but at least they, like, tripled their average annual win total first. So a change of scenery might do the Bakes some good. And could you imagine how people would flock to a Cherry Bomb West?”

Bakers PR Maven Faith Popcorn said Sharif was unavailable for comment, only adding to the speculation about a move by the team. A spokesperson later said that Sharif’s visit to L.A. and meeting with Clooney involved the possibility of an investment in a bar in Brentwood that would be known as The Wine House, an apparent reference to Sharif’s former consort and the mother of the CurlBaby, the ill-fated child who was consumed by Shiva in November.

Oddsmakers like12TH AVENUE in 2012

In a cell-phone photo taken last night at The Cherry Bomb Cafe, President Obama chats with QCurl Sharif after he placed a large bet on the Bakers to win the 2012 NFFA title.

NEWS ANALYSIS
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press

FROM THE WHAT WERE THEY THINKING DEPARTMENT—Music City Sports Book officially kicked off the NFFA silly season yesterday when they released their opening odds for the 2012 season, and surprisingly —or maybe not, considering they are based inside The Cherry Bomb Cafe — they are picking the 12th Avenue Bakers as the favorite to take home the Dead Lombardi trophy.

The sports book installed the Bakers as the early 5-3 favorites, with The Village Green just behind at odds of 2-1. The defending champion East Nashville Black Dogs are next at 5-2, followed by 2011 runner-up Atlanta Smack Daddies at 3-1. Here is the complete list of the odds:

Odds to Win the 2012 NFFA Championship
12th Avenue Bakers 5-3
The Village Green 2-1
East Nashville Black Dogs 5-2
Atlanta Smack Daddies 3-1
Corsairs 4-1
Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs 6-1
West Nashville Beelzebubbas 7-1
Cambridge Animals 10-1

It just so happened that President Barack Obama and his man Friday Reggie Love were at Music City Sports Book placing a wager on tonight’s Duke basketball game against Temple when their 2012 NFFA championship odds were made public. Obama and Love reportedly each put a grand on the Bakers, and saying he “loves an underdog,” the president also put $500 on the Cambridge Animals. “I heard this DTA guy is some kind of coaching genius,” Obama said. “And that he’s developed all the great quarterbacks in the league.” Later, the president was seen in a private room at the club, smoking and laughing with QCurl Sharif, owner of both the Bakers and The Cherry Bomb.

When asked about the thinking behind installing the Bakers as the early favorites, Music City Sports Book representative Wynn House said, “We looked at a combination of factors, including probable keepers and draft position. We ran a mock draft and realized the Bakers, who have three of the first 17 picks including the first pick overall, are positioned to have the best team next year. But those were really secondary considerations," he said. "The fact Shiva finally broke DTA’s curse in Curse Bowl II is what actually tipped the scales to the Bakes.”

In a rare look inside the oddsmaking process, House allowed the AWP access to their keeper projections and the first round of their 2012 mock draft.

Projected keepers

The following list of projected keepers is based on each team’s highest-scoring player at the keeper positions. Players are listed with their points-per-game average in parenthesis, with the total points per game for the six projected keepers in parenthesis next to the team name.

East Nashville Black Dogs (105.53 ppg) — QB Matthew Stafford (43.75 ppg), RB Darren Sproles (19.19 ppg*), WR Antonio Brown (13.88), DL Jason Pierre-Paul (7.97 ppg), LB Patrick Willis (11.27 ppg), DB Charles Tillman (9.47 ppg).

The Village Green (102.65 ppg) — QB Aaron Rodgers (49.8 ppg*), RB LeSean McCoy (17.93 ppg), WR/TE Victor Cruz (12.38 ppg), DL Cliff Avril (6.17 ppg), LB Michael Boley (8.18 ppg), DB Eric Weddle (8.19 ppg).

Atlanta Smack Daddies (98.89 ppg) — QB Tony Romo (35.38 ppg), RB Arian Foster (18.08 ppg), WR/TE Calvin Johnson (15.81 ppg*), DL Jared Allen (8.09 ppg*), LB James Anderson (9.69 ppg), DB Patrick Peterson(11.84 ppg*).

Corsairs (95.93 ppg) — QB Drew Brees (49.13 ppg), RB Reggie Bush (11.2 ppg), WR/TE Jimmy Graham (11.63 ppg), DL Trent Cole (5.96 ppg), LB Stephen Tulloch (8.41 ppg), DB Jason McCourty (9.6 ppg).

12th Avenue Bakers (94.49 ppg) — QB Tom Brady (45.63 ppg), RB Michael Turner (12.56 ppg), WR/TE Larry Fitzgerald (11.31 ppg), DL Julius Peppers (5.57 ppg), LB Chad Greenway (8.19 ppg), DB Ladarius Webb (11.23 ppg).

Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs (90.39 ppg) — QB Peyton Manning (36 ppg**), RB Ray Rice (17.63 ppg), WR/TE Josh Cribbs (12.94 ppg), DL Haloti Ngata (5.63 ppg), LB James Laurinaitis (9.59 ppg), DB Kam Chancellor (8.6 ppg).

West Nashville Beelzebubbas (86.16 ppg) — QB Ben Roethlisberger (31.67 ppg), RB Adrian Peterson (15.08 ppg), WR/TE Percy Harvin (13.25 ppg), DL Calais Campbell (7.06 ppg), LB London Fletcher (9.97 ppg), DB Charles Woodson (9.13 ppg).

Cambridge Animals (80.98 ppg) — QB Michael Vick (33.62 ppg), RB Chris Johnson (9.75 ppg), WR/TE Rob Gronkowski (14.63 ppg), DL Vince Woolfork (4.83 ppg), LB DQuell Jackson (10.22 ppg*), DB Devin McCourty (7.93 ppg).

* Position leader in points.
** Points per game total is an average of Peyton Manning’s totals for the previous four seasons, 2007-2010.

Mock draft

The following are the results of the first round of the 2012 NFFA mock draft conducted by Music City Sports Book:

1. Bakers: RB Maurice Jones-Drew
2. Animals: QB Cam Newton
3. Beelzebubbas: QB Philip Rivers
4. Sea Hogs: RB Darren McFadden
5. The Green: RB Fred Jackson
6. Corsairs: RB Marshawn Lynch
7. Smack Daddies: QB Eli Manning
8. Black Dogs: RB Steven Jackson

There’s just one problem with Music City Sports Book’s mock draft: It assumes the Bakers will be using logic when making their picks. If the history of this league has taught us anything, it is that the Bakers more likely will be relying on chronic than on logic to guide their draft picks. This is a team that one year spent its second round pick on a linebacker, and another year, used its sixth round pick on a kicker — and it wasn’t even Rob Bironas. The Bakers have missed on so many drafts picks that outsiders refer to their actual draft as a “mock” draft because everyone’s mocking it afterwards.

In the opinion of this longtime observer of the NFFA, the first round of the 2012 draft is more likely to look like this:

1. Bakers: QB Cam Newton
2. Animals: PK Rob Bironas
3. Beelzebubbas: RB Leon Washington
4. Sea Hogs: QB Andrew Luck
5. The Green: RB Maurice Jones-Drew
6. Corsairs: RB Darren McFadden
7. Smack Daddies: RB Fred Jackson
8. Black Dogs: RB Jamaal Charles

First and foremost, the Bakers will have revenge on their mind because of The Curse, so they will select quarterback Cam Newton with the first pick of the draft just to keep the Animals from drafting him. The last thing QCurl wants to hear is how Dave the Animal developed Cam Newton.

In response to that, DTA will draft kicker Rob Bironas, who has been the Bakers’ kicker and object of QCurl’s affection for the past five seasons, just to spite the 12th Avenue owner.

Then in an effort to return to playoff form, the Beelzebubbas will use the third pick to bring former player and interim coach Leon Washington back in the fold.

You would think the Sea Hogs would grab NFL rushing leader Maurice Jones-Drew with the fourth pick, but still uncertain about the health of Peyton Manning, they instead will surprise everyone and draft Manning’s backup, rookie Andrew Luck.

All of which cause MJD to fall to the fifth pick, where he rejoins The Green. From there, sanity is restored, resulting in a run on running backs by the Corsairs, Smack Daddies and Black Dogs.

Only time will tell how the draft really goes, but until then, this is just the opening salvo of the NFFA silly season, where every franchise, even the Bakers, are undefeated.