Friday, March 15, 2013

CARDINAL LEONARDO BACK FROM ROME
Addresses Murrman's demand for excommunication of seven team owners


Cardinal Leonardo (File Photo)


By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports


Cardinal Giorgio Leonardo, who has quietly served as papal nuncio to the NFFA since 2004, returned today from Rome, where he was part of the college of cardinals that elected the new pope this week.

In an exclusive interview with FSN from his office next to the Cherry Bomb Café, Cardinal Leonardo addressed topics ranging from Vatican politics to the NFFA’s feisty deputy commissioner, Meemaw Murrman.

Leonardo disclosed that he had brought a personal gift to his fellow cardinals from league founder Jorgé Linardo, in the form of hand-rolled Colombian cigars from Linardo’s home province of Antioquia. “Some Vatican watchers saw the green smoke coming out of the chimney and got confused,” laughed Cardinal Leonardo. “And some inside,” he added cryptically, “were dazed.”

Asked for insights into the new pope,” Leonardo replied, “I’ll only pass on what Dr. Linardo said: ‘It’s good to have a fellow Jorgé and a fellow South American holding the keys to the kingdom.’ He said if he’s going to let anyone hold keys for him, it would be Cardinal Birgoglio.”

Cardinal Leonardo was less forthcoming about reports that NFFA Deputy Commissioner Meemaw Murrman had asked him to excommunicate all franchise owners except for the Corsairs’ Mojo D. “Well, first of all, I could not excommunicate the Beelzebubbas’ owner, since he is twice dead,” said Leonardo with a thin smile. “As to the other six, it is a serious request that Mrs. Murrman makes. I think it is better to reconcile than to expel, but I will pray over this with Mr. Sharif tonight after he finishes his live chat on ChristianMingle.com.”

The cardinal said he was unaware that the sports book in the Cherry Bomb Café had set the odds against excommunication at 8-to-1. “Too bad I am not a betting man,” he said. “Those are pretty good odds. Especially when I control the decision.

“I’m joking, of course,” he quickly added. “The decision is in God’s hands. Pax vobiscum.”