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| Rob Bironas will helm the Bakers ship for the balance of the 2013 season. |
By Man Ray Natural
The Mainline Dope
NASHVILLE—12th Avenue Bakers' placekicker Rob Bironas will serve as interim head coach for his team through the remainder of the 2013 season. The Bakers (2-9) have won two of three in November under his direction, following the firing of former coach Snoop Lion.
Owner QCurl Sharif simultaneously tapped Bakers PR Director Faith Popcorn as acting GM, and receded into the shadows. Reports have swirled about the owner's involvement with Eckankar, and a return to an association with Shiva, who promptly regurgitated CurlBaby, thought to be dead. As Popcorn headed a permanent coaching search, two candidates surfaced as finalists — Iggy Pop and Cheetah Chrome — only to become tragically intertwined with the purported curse of the organization. Chrome has been missing, and Pop lies in a coma still at Vanderbilt Hospital.
"We feel Bironas has gotten the car out of the ditch, at least," Popcorn said recently. "We'd like to finish strong and spoil everything. If we were to upset the Black Dogs this weekend and bust the Bubbas in the Bacchanal game, our fans will be back in the fold. In fact, they'd burn this mother-effin' town down."
Emboldened by Popcorn's address to the media at the Cherry Bomb, Sharif joined her on the steps holding a flaming CurlBaby in his arms.
"The kid seems really happy to be back," Sharif said. "He's so cute. He keeps referring to the Bubbas' game as the 'Back Anal.'"
Owner QCurl Sharif simultaneously tapped Bakers PR Director Faith Popcorn as acting GM, and receded into the shadows. Reports have swirled about the owner's involvement with Eckankar, and a return to an association with Shiva, who promptly regurgitated CurlBaby, thought to be dead. As Popcorn headed a permanent coaching search, two candidates surfaced as finalists — Iggy Pop and Cheetah Chrome — only to become tragically intertwined with the purported curse of the organization. Chrome has been missing, and Pop lies in a coma still at Vanderbilt Hospital.
"We feel Bironas has gotten the car out of the ditch, at least," Popcorn said recently. "We'd like to finish strong and spoil everything. If we were to upset the Black Dogs this weekend and bust the Bubbas in the Bacchanal game, our fans will be back in the fold. In fact, they'd burn this mother-effin' town down."
Emboldened by Popcorn's address to the media at the Cherry Bomb, Sharif joined her on the steps holding a flaming CurlBaby in his arms.
"The kid seems really happy to be back," Sharif said. "He's so cute. He keeps referring to the Bubbas' game as the 'Back Anal.'"
