DOGS, HOGS CLINCH DIVISION TITLES

DOGS, HOGS CLINCH DIVISION TITLES
'Bubbas, Mojo, lead wild-card chase

By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press

With their victories in week 12, East Nashville (10-2) and Fidalgo Island (10-2) became champs of their respective divisions. For both the Black Dogs and Sea Hogs, it is their third consecutive division title.

Meanwhile, wins by West Nashville (7-5) and Midtown (7-5) gave those two franchises the inside track for the two wild-card berths in the championship round of the NFFA playoffs. But Cambridge (6-6) is still alive, barely.

Here is a breakdown of what is at stake this weekend:

• No team has ever finished the regular season with only two losses. The Dogs and Hogs each have that goal still in their sights.

• The Beelzebubbas face the lowly 12th Avenue Bakers this weekend. The Mojo and Animals are not so fortunate. The Mojo travel to Fidalgo Island, while the Animals host the Black Dogs. If the favored teams win those three match-ups, the 'Bubbas would clinch a wild-card spot.

NOSTRADAMUS — CALLING THE ‘HOGS ???

This Sea Hog cheerleader knows how to woo the Pigs of the Sea.

NOSTRADAMUS — CALLING THE ‘HOGS ???

By Bill O’Really, Faux News

Cheers of “Woo Pig Sooie!” erupted on Fidalgo Island yesterday when news broke of the latest quatrain translated from Nostradamus’ new book “Le Prophecies de Sport” (translated: “Sports Picks”).

Quatrain 613, entitled “The Magi” (magi means magician), was released by La Sorbonne in Paris yesterday. The English translation, which substitutes "Mojo" for "Magi," reads as follows:

Blood runs through the streets amid town
As the offense crushes the Mojo’s D.
The home crowd cheers in adoration to
Woo the Pigs of the Sea.

Nashvegas bookmakers believe the cryptic quatrain refers to the Week 13 game on Fidalgo Island between the Sea Hogs and Mojo D’s Midtown Mojo. The oddsmakers claim that Nostradamus has called this one for the Sea Hogs. Fidalgo Islanders agree. The Sea Hogs fans are calling the ‘Hogs and their bookies in expectation of a Sea Hogs win.

Over the last several weeks the per capita income on Fidalgo Island nearly doubled from gambling winnings, as Nostradamus correctly predicted Sea Hogs victories over the Beelzebubbas, the Animals, the Bakers, and, last week, the Scouts.