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| In 2016, a Santeria high priestess (shown above) unleashed the "grandmother of all curses" on the defending champion Cambridge Animals, who are winless against the West Nashville Beelzebubbas since then. |
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
Curses are a big deal in the Nashvegas Fantasy Football Association. Of course there is the curse of the champion which has prevented any team from ever winning back-to-back titles. Then there is the curse of Brady which has prevented any team quarterbacked by New England QB Tom Brady, arguably the greatest quarterback in NFL history, from winning an NFFA championship. But it's a couple of lesser-known curses which take center stage this weekend when the Cambridge Animals face the West Nashville Beelzebubbas at Colt 45 Stadium.
When the Animals defeated the Beelzebubbas to win the NFFA title in 2015, 'Bubbas owner/GM Mos' Ded failed to offer congratulations to Animals owner Dave the Animal in a timely fashion. That resulted in DTA unleashing the "mother of all curses" on the Beelzebubbas. Mos' Ded retaliated against the Animals with the "grandmother of all curses." In the ensuing seasons, we've learned grandma beats mama, as West Nashville has reeled off eight consecutive wins over Cambridge and goes for a ninth straight this weekend.
"We tried to lift the curse after we made the blockbuster preseason trade, but the curse was too strong," Ded said when reached for comment. "We didn't realize how powerful that Santeria juju really was."
The importance of the "grandmother of all curses" is magnified this weekend as the Animals sit atop the Jorge division with a precarious one-game lead over the East Nashville Black Dogs. "We wish we had that grandmother carrying the rock for us," Black Dogs coach Marshawn Lynch said. "We'd be undefeated."
The 'Bubbas announced on Thursday that the first one thousand grandmothers to enter Colt 45 Stadium this weekend will receive both a Colt 45 firearm and a "foty" of Colt 45 malt liquor.
When the AWP reached out to the Animals for comment, neither DTA nor GM Wilder the Animal were available.
