BUBBAS ‘BOUT THAT RING! West Nashville claims second NFFA crown

After becoming head coach in week 4 following the team's 0-3 start, Barry Switzer led West Nashville to 12-1 finish and their second NFFA title.

By R.E. Porter

Associated Web Press

Back in 2002, the West Nashville franchise won the very first NFFA title. That year, there was no championship game, no playoffs, just one long, 17-week season at the end of which the Beelzebubbas had the league’s best record. That was a long time ago, so long ago that London Bakers owner QCurl Sharif likes to jokingly ask, “Are they still leaning on that?”

Now Sharif is one to be talking, considering he is only one of two current owners without a championship and the only founding owner without one. But still, he has a point: It has been quite a while since the ’Bubbas won a title, and despite making four trips to the title game between 2004, when the league went to a playoff system, and 2017, the ’Bubbas have not been able to get that second championship ring. Until Monday night, that is, when they raised the Dead Lombardi trophy following their 128.5-121.7 win over the Downtown Corsairs.

The ’Bubbas were the NFFA’s best team in this the league’s 16th year, winning their first Jorge division title with a 10-4 regular season mark that was two games better than the next-best record, but they won the title with less than their best performance. You have to go all the way back to their three-game losing streak to start the season to find a score lower than the one they posted in the title game. Speaking of that losing streak, it prompted GM Jorge Linardo to bring in legendary coach Barry Switzer to right the ’Bubbas’ ship. And right it Switzer did, piloting the team to an 12-1 record from week 4 forward, their only slip-up coming in week 8 against The Village Green. After that, they reeled off eight straight wins.

“Of all the titles I've won in college and the NFL, to win an NFFA championship is the sweetest of all,” Switzer said after the game. “And not just because Saddam said it means I get to live one more year.”

While great coaching powered the Beelzebubbas to the 2017 NFFA crown, the runner-up Corsairs were left to wonder about some of the lineup moves of head coach Jack White, specifically his decision to start QB Case Keenum in the title game. If White had given the nod to any one of the other three QBs (Matt Ryan, Jared Goff, Alex Smith) on his roster, the Corsairs would be wearing the crown. Considering team owner Mojo D’s volatile impatience when it comes to head coaches, one has to wonder if Coach White will be getting the axe — literally.

The Beelzebubbas became the fifth franchise to have multiple titles, joining the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs and Downtown Corsairs with two rings apiece. The East Nashville Black Dogs and the Atlanta Smack Daddies are tied for the most championships with four each. This marks the third year in a row the championship has been won by a team from the Jorge division. The Cambridge Animals won the title in 2015 and the Black Dogs claimed the crown a year ago.

On another note, The Green won the consolation playoffs with victories over the Sea Hogs and Animals, giving the franchise with the first pick in the 2018 draft some momentum going into the offseason.

GREEN DOMINATE CORSAIRS Run rival's losing skid to six games

Roy Moore riding his horse, "Lolita."

By Kellyanne Conway
White House News Service

“We bet on the cum and it paid off,” tweeted Trump early Monday morning.  

In a stunning reveal, Village Green owner and President of the United States Donald Trump tweeted, “That's right. We harvested sperm from my boy Roy Moore's horse and injected 6 oz of it into Dak Prescott during halftime.” 

The President continued, “Roy Moore has the balls to represent Alabama and so does his horse. Did you see how Dak Prescott exploded in the fouth quarter?”

Mojo D, reeling badly from a six-game losing streak, was unavailable for comment.

BEELZEBUBBAS CLINCH JORGE First division title for West Nashville

RB Le'Veon Bell celebrates the 'Bubbas first division crown after last night's finale.

By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press

With their win over the London Bakers last weekend, their fifth straight victory, the West Nashville Beelzebubbas ran their record to 9-4 and claimed the 2017 Jorge division title, the first division crown in the founding franchise's storied 16-year history.

"When we started 0-3, it looked like our season might be done before we even started division play," said 'Bubbas owner Mos' Ded. "Coach (Barry) Switzer has done a great job since he came on board in Week 4. We've still got a lot of work to do, but right now, we're going to pause and celebrate that all of our guys made it through Bacchanal Week without getting arrested or disappearing into another space-time dimension."

If the Beelzebubbas close out the season with a win over the 8-5 East Nashville Black Dogs at home this weekend, they will secure the No. 1 seed in the playoffs. The 8-5 Downtown Corsairs, who clinched the Linardo division title two weeks ago, would be the No. 2 seed. After starting the season 8-0, the Corsairs are reeling from five straight losses. A loss by the 'Bubbas and an unlikely win by Corsairs on the final weekend would leave the two teams with the same record, and the top two seeds would be determined by tiebreakers, which at this point, favor the Corsairs.

The 11-time Jorge champion Black Dogs clinched a wild-card playoff berth with their win over the Cambridge Animals, their fourth in a row, and will have the No. 3 seed.

The final wild-card spot will go to the winner of the game in Cambridge this weekend between the Animals and Bakers, who are both 6-7. The 6-7 Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs are one of the league's hottest teams and could tie the winner of the Animals-Bakers game with a 7-7 record, but would lose the wild-card tiebreakers to either team.

On another note, with their loss to the Sea Hogs, The Village Green (4-9) clinched the first overall pick in the 2018 draft. The 5-8 Atlanta Smack Daddies will have the second pick in next year's draft.