Wednesday, May 21, 2014

SHARIF SIGHTED, DECLARED DEAD
Judge unpersuaded by photo from Ukraine


Is QCurl Sharif dead, or is he working with the Ukraine military?


By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports


Even as a photo of QCurl Sharif from Ukraine surfaced over the weekend, a Nashville judge declared Monday that the missing Bakers owner is legally dead.

The ruling is sure to set off shock waves and a mad scramble throughout the NFFA.

On Saturday, FSN received a photograph of a person who appeared to be Sharif sitting in the turret of a Russian-made tank. Seated next to Sharif was a chimpanzee, who also was wearing a Ukrainian military uniform. A source who furnished the photo claimed that it was taken last week near Donetsk, in eastern Ukraine.

Sharif was last seen in March boarding a chartered jet reportedly bound for Kiev, accompanied by Bakers GM and PR maven Faith Popcorn and an unidentified chimp. Bakers attorney Mandrake Kirby has claimed to be in communication with the Bakers owner, but no visual evidence that he is alive has been produced until now.

Meanwhile, Bakers superfan Bill Cheatham filed a petittion in a Nashville court to have Sharif declared dead. “The team needs to be able to move on,” Cheatham said.

On Monday, Judge Lovie Christian granted the petition, declaring that Sharif is deceased in the eyes of the law. When Kirby produced the newly received photograph, Christian dismissed it as inconclusive. “It could have easily been photo-shopped,” she said. “I assume that every photograph involving the NFFA is photo-shopped.”

Judge Christian’s ruling apparently now opens the door to a contest between five (so far) rival documents claiming to be Sharif’s last will and testament. Last week, a sixth claimant, Focus on the Family Ministries, withdrew the document it had previously submitted after federal agents threatened to confiscate Sharif’s Hohenwald properties and levy significant fines and penalties related to grazing fees. If its will was proved genuine, the ministry could be liable for those penalties.

More immediately, Baker fans and the NFFA community appeared confused by the latest developments. The Islamic Center of Nashville, which shares the 12South neighborhood with the Bakers, planned to organize a service of remembrance. Thousands of fans and other well-wishers lit candles and left flowers near the so-called Satan Tree in Sevier Park, where some were keeping a continuous vigil.

Meanwhile, others continued to believe the photograph was genuine and Sharif is alive. “Personally,” said Beelzebubbas owner Mos Ded, who serves with Sharif as co-organizer of the annual Bacchanal to the Future, “I believe QCurl is alive. I haven’t seen him over here on the other side, and neither has Furious George, and neither have Coach Lombardi or President Nixon.

“Besides, Q’s still got work to do in the land of the living. I guarantee you they’re not prepared for him over here yet.”