Tuesday, August 25, 2015

MAYOR DEAN THREATENS NFFA
Vows to close NashVegas venues if Black Dogs crowned champs

Mayor Karl Dean was fired up earlier today as he addressed the situation with the Downtown Corsairs, who have been stripped of their 2014 NFFA championship.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports


Even as the sports world reels from the decision of NFFA-appointed arbitrator QCurl Sharif to strip the Downtown Corsairs of the championship they won on the field, Nashville mayor Karl Dean has intervened to up the ante.

Early Tuesday, Dean announced that the Nashville Metro police department would block all access to the five NFFA stadiums within Davidson County, effectively preventing the league’s season from starting in September.

Such a blockade, if enforced, would affect the Corsairs, the Village Green, the 12th Avenue Bakers, the West Nashville Beelzebubbas, and the East Nashville Black Dogs, the team that, under Sharif’s decision, would become the league champion for 2014.

“This is obviously an extreme step, but one that I believe is necessary if the NFFA continues down its clearly illegal path,” said a clearly irate Dean as he stood in front of the Music City Center, which doubles as home of the Corsairs.

By midday Tuesday, the two candidates vying to succeed Dean as mayor, Megan Barry and David Fox, both said they supported Dean’s hardball stance against the league.

Black Dogs GM Buddy Ryan, who filed the complaint that led to Sharif’s ruling, called Dean’s announcement “[bleep]ing obscene,” pointing out that Dean is closely identified with the Corsairs and, therefore, biased in their favor. “He was drunker than a hoot owl and dancing on the piano at the Palm at their victory party last year,” Ryan said. “Now he’s trying to put in the fix.”

Anton Chigur, the Bubbas’ VP of Community Relations, suggested that Metro Police would find it difficult to prevent games from being played at Colt 45 Stadium. “First of all, we have the most loyal and most heavily armed fans in football, and they’re strongly of the opinion that Stand Your Ground laws apply to encounters with street gangs, I mean, the cops. And second of all, if the police actually show up in our neighborhood, it will be the first time.”

New Green owner Donald Trump, who has not hesitated to roil the waters in his first full week in the league, issued a threat of his own. “Who is this loser Mayor McCheese guy?” Trump blustered in a phone call with reporters. “He couldn’t run a worm farm. He couldn’t be a wart on Rudy Giuliani’s ass. He thinks he can close Trump Stadium and keep the Green from playing? Wait till he watches me pack it all up and move it to the real Village. I already have the property, and all I have to do is evict those rent-controlled losers who are sucking it dry. Karl Dean is just hastening the day when we’ll see the Greenwich Village Green. They’re going to be huge. Block my access to that, you buck-toothed, bloated tub of grits.”

League commissioner Bill Money was reportedly at the Castaneda Spiritual Retreat & Spa in Sedona, Arizona, this week and could not be reached for comment.