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| Don Maurizio Tommaso Marone, new owner of the Midtown Browns, as he appeared in a 2020 cover story in Goombah magazine, "New Don on the Block." |
Associated Web Press
Maybe the Midtown Browns believe when you’re the new guy you should keep a low profile until you get the lay of the land — or league in this case. Or maybe not. But one thing for certain, the team formerly known as the Sylvan Goats made the shortest appearance ever at NFFA Media Days.
The Browns were represented by team president Joey “Little Tony” Vietti. Vietti, who was accompanied by one of the team’s attorneys, made a brief opening statement.
“Gentlemen and ladies, I gotta tell you, the Don is not used to having his people talk with the media,” he began. “The Don considers reporters to be on a ‘need-to-know’ basis, if you know what I mean, so I don’t feel entirely comfortable being here with you today. But it’s the Don’s understanding that this is some kind of a tradition in the Nashvegas Fantasy Football League, so here I am.
“The gentlemen to my left is one of the Family’s attorneys, Salvatore Venucci,” Vietti continued. “Mr. Venucci is here to advise me regarding whether I should answer your questions or not. And with that said, I open the floor to your questions.”
Several reporters raised their hands, and Vietti pointed at one and said, “You, go ahead. Yes, you, the little fat man, ask your question.”
The “little fat man” was Joe Biddle of WKRN, and his face was bright red as he asked, “Who is the Don?”
Vietti looked at Venucci, who gave him an affirmative nod. “The Don is Don Maurizio Tommaso Marone, and he is the owner of the Midtown Browns.”
“Does he live in Nashvegas,” Biddle added.
Again Vietti glanced at the attorney before answering. “Don Marone does not have a home in Nashville, although he is looking at properties in the area,” Vietti said.
Next, FSN’s Ariel Mutha-Tafoya raised her hand and was recognized by Vietti. “What made Don Marone want to buy the Sylvan Goats franchise,” she asked.
“That’s simple, babe,” Vietta said to a stunned Mutha-Tafoya. “The Don likes to associate with winners, and the team is the defending champ. He also likes good value. When he saw a losing franchise like the Village Green was valued at more than a trillion bucks, he couldn’t pass on the chance to buy a far-more successful franchise for far less than that.”
Vietti then recognized Man Ray Natural of The Mainline Dope, who asked, “Why did Don Marone name the team the Browns?”
Vietti smiled before he answered. “Well, you see the Don wanted to give the team a little extra good luck,” he said, “so he named it after his spiritual advisor Rev. Fred Brown. You may see Rev. Brown on the sidelines during games to inspire the team.”
Next, Woody Larry asked Vietti if he feared the Curse of the Champion would make the Browns its bitch the way Vietnam made LBJ its bitch?
“The curse of the what,” Vietti said.
“The Curse of the Champion,” Larry replied. “In 20 seasons there has never been a repeat champion.”
Vietti stepped away from the podium and engaged in a hushed conversation with Venucci. After several minutes, he returned to the mic and said, “The Don doesn’t talk about Vietnam.”
“No, no, that was just a metaphor,” Larry explained.
“I’m not sure who you said you met, but the Don doesn’t talk about Vietnam. And you know, that’s enough with the questions for today. I just answered more freaking questions than I have in 20 years working for the Don.”
Vietti and Venucci then turned to leave the stage.
“But you only answered five questions,” shouted FSN’s Soren Bernyn.
The two Browns representatives stopped, turned back toward the media audience and Vietti said, “Yeah, and that’s five more than I ever answered before. What’s your name, pal?”
“Soren Bernyn, FSN.”
Vietti slowly took a small, black notebook from his side coat pocket and thumbed through it. When presumably he found a blank page, he made a note and returned the notebook to his pocket. Then without looking back at the audience, he and the attorney left the room.
