By Faith Popcorn
PR Director,
12th Ave. Bakers
NASHVILLE — In what appeared to be an impaired, rambling defense of the 12th Avenue Bakers 2012 draft, owner QCurl Sharif faced the press and the team's legions of fans on the steps of The Cherry Bomb Café this morning.
Sharif stood with head coach Snoop Lion and addressed those who had not only questioned this year's Bakers draft picks, but those fans who were angered over the Nazi-themed warroom in which the those picks were decided. In particular, many in the crowd ridiculed Sharif's allegiance to kicker Rob Bironas.
"The video is real, but it should be noted that in accordance with the expansive and balanced laws of the universe, and under the direction of Shiva, it became clear to me during the draft that we had to bring Bironas back into the fold — a fold from which he had been stolen by a mere babe," Sharif said. "What seems to be a minor point to many is, in fact, a deep karmic issue for the Bakers. Those who cannot see, will not see."
Amid loud calls for Sharif to excuse himself from future decisions on personnel, Snoop Lion stepped to the owner's defense, reminding the crowd that one game is not the whole season. When a reporter for the AWP pointed out that Bironas and Chris Johnson combined were outscored this past weekend by kicker Matt Bryant, who Sharif had traded to Cambridge as part of a six-player deal, the Lion held up two fingers and spoke to the restless crowd. "Game Two is all that matters," he said. "QCurl and I have no memory. This league is scary fast and the loss was rasta tough — especially considering that we were in it until Peyton blew open the fourth quarter.
"But today we're all about taking down The Green," the Lion continued. "We take it in every day, now we're gonna take it down! Hell, Bironas will probably seal the deal! Number One Jah-love!"
When questioned about the WWII vintage Nazi uniforms worn during the draft, the German language, and his derision of many people in his inner circle, Sharif brushed the criticism aside. "We like to have fun on that night," Sharif said. "It's serious business, but we like to party. I admit I was pissed off about a couple of things — and when I get with the caviar, I expect others to take the wheel. QCurl can't drive all the time.
"This stuff was never meant to be seen," he added. "I've apologized to Faith Popcorn specifically — and thank God she at least had her clothes on when this was shot. The uniforms were meant to capture that 'work hard, play hard, be hard' thing we stress so much around here. You've got to admit those uniforms were cool as shit compared to ours back then. And, I'll be damned if I'm going to be criticized over a draft that landed RG III, Kenny Britt, Roddy White and Antonio Gates, or a trade that brought in Cam, CJ and the Precious — I mean Bironas!"
At that moment, a bottle was thrown from the crowd in the direction of Sharif and Lion, triggering a rude boy response from Bakers security and city police. The crowd surged forward as "Buffalo Soldier" blared from The Cherry Bomb's sound system. As the owner and coach were swept into the club, police and some in the crowd clashed.
It was reported that a small percentage of the crowd sported other NFFA colors, particularly those of the Corsairs and the Beelzebubba nations. Some arrests were made, but by all accounts, the scene paled in comparison to the chaos found in the adjoining streets during annual Shiva/Artemis parties, and certainly nothing like the Bacchanal week.
