NOSTRA-DUMBASS PREDICTS COME-FROM-BEHIND WIN FOR BLACK DOGS

NOSTRA-DUMBASS PREDICTS COME-FROM-BEHIND WIN FOR BLACK DOGS

By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press

At a hastily called press conference outside Black Dogs stadium, also known as the killing fields, East Nashville coach Jim McMahon revealed that he had been visited once again in a dream by the prognosticating apparition, Nostra-dumbass.

"I was taking a nap after spending the morning trying to perfect the Taser™-tini, when once again Nostra appeared to me," McMahon said, calling the apparition by his pet name. "He said, 'Jim, did you hear the joke about the two bears and two vikings who walked into a bar?' I told him it sounded familiar and he said, 'Well, one of the bears attacked one of the vikings and tore his head off, then paraded around with it in his mouth. He threw the head to the other bear who did amazing things with it, finishing each trick by spiking the head to the ground. Meanwhile, the other viking kicked the beheaded viking in the testicles 15 times.' 'Oh, wow,' I said, 'That's not funny,' but Nostra disagreed. 'Au contraire, it is hilarious, Jim,' he said, then added, 'Black Dogs by three.'

"I can only conclude that this means we will pull off a miraculous rally tonight and send Biggs back to Pakistan to face a different kind of terror," McMahon said, then hurried through the Black Dogs team entrance, where he intended to share the good news with Devin Hester, Brian Urlacher and Ryan Longwell.