OBOBBER APPOINTS WARREN SAPP AS NEW SEA HOGS HEAD COACH

Sapp shows off his fancy footwork on Dancing With The Stars.

OBOBBER APPOINTS WARREN SAPP AS NEW SEA HOGS HEAD COACH

By Bill O'Really, FAUX News

Fidalgo Island - - In the never-ending game of one-upmanship in the NFFA, owner Tirik Obobber trumped Mojo D's recent appointment of a new head coach with a surprise appointment of his own. Today at Sea Hogs headquarters on beautiful Fidalgo Island, Obobber made the surprise announcement that he was replacing Hillary Clinton as president and head coach of the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs with football star and former Dancing With The Stars second place finisher Warren Sapp.

Sapp said he was pleased and proud to be the Sea Hogs new head coach. Said Sapp, "Afta dancin' wid dem stars, I kin do anytang!"

Obobber announced that he was replacing Clinton as a result of her being recently named as the new Secretary of State under President-elect Obama. Said Obobber, "Hillary's 4 - 9 record had nothing to do with her departure. A let-down record like that is to be expected after the Sea Hogs won the Championship Game last year. Regardless, I am very happy that my good friend Warren Sapp has decided to take over the helm. His recent experience on Dancing With The Stars will help us greatly. We will need his fancy footwork to get us through the end of the season, even though we won't be going to the Big Dance. There is no one more intelligent and articulate than Warren. If anyone can beat the MOJO this weekend to finish off the 2008 regular season with a win, it's Warren Sapp."

MOJO COACHING CAROUSEL CONTINUES

The freshly reanimated Otto von Bismarck enjoys the
Mojo's victory over the Smack Daddies last weekend.

MOJO COACHING CAROUSEL CONTINUES

By Soren Bernyn, Fantasy Sports News

After the Mojo's first victory in five weeks, team owner Mojo D did the only logical thing: Fire the winning coach, and replace him with a Prussian statesman who has been dead for 110 years. Perhaps "HAD been dead" is a more accurate statement — over the Bacchanal weekend, QCurl Sharif's experiments in re-animation reached a new level of success by bringing back the Iron Chancellor.

Mojo D said in a prepared statement, "The Chancellor and I immediately bonded over the need to instill some discipline in the team, and he made a compelling case for his hiring; plus, he is very hard to say no to and has a fantastic hat."

The Midtown Mojo are assured of a last-place finish this season, regardless of the outcome of their game against the hated Tirik Obobber's Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs in their regular-season finale. "We quite literally have nothing to lose," Mojo D said. "So we'll be throwing anything and everything we have against the Hogs, including a genius strategist like Otto von Bismarck."