Wednesday, April 10, 2013

NFFA News Roundup
MONEY RESIGNS
Plans to focus more time on Black Dogs


NFFA Commissioner William D. Money (left) has turned the reigns over to Deputy Commissioner Meemaw Murrman (right) after 11 seasons. (File photos)


By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports

In a startling development, NFFA Commissioner Bill Money announced his immediate resignation today at a hastily called press conference and declared that Deputy Commissioner Lorena “Meemaw” Murrman would succeed him in the league’s top spot.

The reclusive commissioner, who has served in this role since the league began, made a rare public appearance in declaring that he planned to focus more of his energies on his own team, the East Nashville Black Dogs.

“We fell short this year,” Money said. “And I agree with Coach (Jim) McMahon that any season that doesn’t produce a championship goes down as a failure for the Black Dogs. We’re accustomed to the top, and I want to help get us back there.

“Last week it just hit me like a shot to the head,” Money continued. “I knew I needed to get back to what I love best.”

Reporters noticed that, under his trademark hat, Money’s head appeared to be heavily bandaged. In response to a reporter’s question about his evident injury, Money explained that he had hit his head in a “wind-surfing accident.”

The ex-commissioner took no further questions but was effusive in his praise of Murrman, who he said “has the right skillet, er, skillset, for the job.”


Goodrow-A-Go-Go hosts Chesney same-sex vows


Kenny Chesney inaugurated the new same-sex wedding chapel at Nashville’s Goodrow-A-Go-Go Saturday when the country artist was legally married to NBA star Zach Randolph of the Memphis Grizzlies.

The bride just prior to the ceremony.
Papparazzi snarled traffic for several hours in the Hillsboro Village area in their attempts to snap photos of the new couple and of some of the celebrity guests at the wedding, who included Oprah Winfrey, Hayden Panattiere, Sasha Baron-Cohen, Tom Cruise, QCurl Sharif, Jeannie C. Riley and Shane Battier, among others.

Taylor Swift served as maid of honor, while Randolph’s teammate Marc Gasol was best man. Gonzo the chimp, who serves as unofficial maitre d’ of the Goodrow-A-Go-Go, was ring bearer.

Through a novel arrangement, the “Wedding-A-Go-Go Chapel of Love” at the storied Nashville nightspot enables same-sex couples to be married, even though the partnership is not recognized in Tennessee. Services are performed via videoconference by a chaplain in New York State, where same-sex marriages are legal.

After spending the rest of the weekend at Sharif’s West End Treehouse, the newlyweds are planning a honeymoon trip to Dauphin Island, Ala., after the NBA playoffs end.

Following the ceremony, a beaming Dave Goodrow said he was pleased to have played a small role in bringing marriage equality to Nashville. Standing nearby, Sharif commented, “This shit is gonna make bank.”


Ghost of Biggs officially changes name


The Ghost of the Ghost of Boyd X. Biggs, the founding owner of the West Nashville Beelzebubbas, announced that he had successfully petitioned a Davidson County court to change his name to Mos’ Ded.

GOB2 is now Mos' Ded.
Reading from a prepared statement, the team’s director of media relations, Karl Hungus, said, “GOB2 believed that the name Ghost of the Ghost of Biggs was too long and cumbersome. Even saying it as G-O-B-2 is kind of much. One of the rappers from Dr. Krunkenstein jokingly referred to him recently as Mos’ Ded, and Biggs decided it had a ring to it.”

Pointing out that Cambridge owner DTA had referred to Corsairs owner Mojo D last year as “Mos’ Gay,” a reporter asked whether the similarity of the two appellations would cause any confusion. “Mos’ Ded ain’t going to be confused with any Corsairs,” Hungus replied. “Trust me, he’d rather be dead than gay.”