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| Village Green owner Dave Goodrow donned an Afro wig in an attempt to mock Cambridge Animals owner DTA, but to no avail — DTA considered it flattering. |
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
Bye weeks hurt every team, and what a difference a week makes, especially for teams that load up on players from a single NFL team like the Cambridge Animals.
In week nine with New England Patriots filling half its starting lineup, Cambridge outpaced the league's highest-scoring team, the Downtown Corsairs, 196.9 to 186.6. That capped a two-week stretch in which the Animals averaged more than 211 points per game and played themselves back into playoff contention. Headlines proclaimed the return of the team's "awesome awesomeness."
Fast forward to week 10, the Patriots' bye week, and the Animals' "awesome awesomeness" was nowhere to be found in their 31-point loss to the low-flying Village Green, who put 171.4 on their less-than-awesome asses.
When reached by cell phone on his return trip from Iowa and asked if he was worried that the "awesome awesomeness" hadn't shown up in Ames, team owner Dave the Animal was not perturbed. "No, it was just on its bye week," DTA said. "Blame it on the NFL, if you have to blame someone."
He went on to call the early betting line that had the Animals a 13+ underdog this week to the Atlanta Smack Daddies "bull[expletive]."
With time for only one more question, DTA said he wanted to offer a comment about the fact Village Green owner Dave Goodrow had donned an Afro wig in apparent mockery of DTA's own 'fro. "I didn't consider it a mockery, I considered it a homage," he said. "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I congratulate Goodrow on his choice of hairstyle, and I congratulate him on his victory when the 'awesome awesomeness' was on a bye."
Say what? Corsairs could miss playoffs!
Believe it or not, the Downtown Corsairs, who were perfect in the first half of the season, are now riding a surprising three-game losing streak. But wait, even more unbelievable, with only four game to go in the regular season, the Corsairs mathematically could miss the playoffs. Are you kidding? It's highly unlikely, of course, but the prospect would have been unthinkable three weeks ago. Here's what would have to happen:
• The Corsairs would have to lose out and finish 7-7. Not likely, but you never know. That's why they actually play the games.
• One of the three other teams in the Linardo division — either the Atlanta Smack Daddies, Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs or Village Green who are all 3-7 at this point — would have to win out. Again, not likely, but you never know — especially when you consider the Green's history of spoiling the Corsairs' plans.
But if the above scenario were to somehow play out, the Corsairs would finish 7-7, same as whichever division rival wins out, and the first tiebreaker (head-to-head) would be moot because the two teams would have split their two regular-season contests. The second tiebreaker for division champion is division record: The Corsairs would finish with a 3-3 record within the division, whereas the other 7-7 team would finish with a 4-2 division record and claim the Linardo division title.
That would put the 7-7 Corsairs into the wild-card chase and then it's a crap shoot. There have never been two teams from the same division with only seven wins to make the playoffs. The East Nashville Black Dogs already have eight wins, and the 6-4 12th Avenue Bakers and West Nashville Beelzebubbas would only have to win half their remaining games to finish with better records than the Corsairs and secure the two wild-card berths.
For the record, the Corsairs are almost certainly not going to miss the playoffs. They need only one win in their final four games to clinch the division title — and three of those games are against teams that currently have 3-7 records. But the fact there is a mathematical chance they could miss the playoffs with only four games to go after starting 7-0 is nothing short of mind-blowing.
The 'Buddy' system
East Nashville Black Dogs GM was already the leading candidate for Executive of the Year before he pulled off another trade on Tuesday, this time sending running back Ben Tate to 12th Avenue for the Bakers seventh round pick in the 2015 draft. Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon talked about the trade at his weekly media circus yesterday.
"You gotta hand it to Buddy," McMahon told the gathered media. "Not only has he been one of the league's top GMs for a decade, he has a big heart, too. You would never know it, but Buddy has felt bad that his blockbuster trade with the Bakers that landed us J.J. Watt didn't work out better for The Sharif. It especially bothered him the trade has been universally panned as the worst trade in league history. Quarterback Kirk Cousins was a bust and Q has already cut him. Reggie Bush has been battling injuries and hasn't been able to boost the Bakes' running back corps. Defensive end Rob Ninkovich is really the only player who has panned out for them.
"Thanks to Buddy, we have a strong stable of running backs," he continued. "But now that we are past our bye-week issues at that position, I could foresee a lot of pine time for Ben Tate — despite the fact he has averaged 10 points per game in the six weeks since returning from an injury in week one.
"Buddy knew Q was looking to add another running back, so he offered Tate for a future draft pick. As a result, Tate is now a Baker and we will have the Bakers' seventh round pick in next year's draft."
When Bakers' nemesis Woody Larry asked if the trade was not just another example of Ryan taking advantage of Bakers owner Sharif, McMahon said. "Well, despite missing two-and-half games, Ben has outscored everyone taken in the seventh round this year except Russell Wilson and Roddy White — and White has scored only 10 more points than Ben despite playing more games. Trent Richardson, Michael Crabtree, Jordan Cameron, Patrick Willis, Bobby Wagner and Darrelle Revis were also selected in that round and Ben has outscored them all. So I think it's fair trade, and a good one for both teams."
Later in the press conference, Joe Biddle took a shot at Corsairs owner Mojo D when he asked the coach if they were serving "60-burgers" on the East Side after quarterback Aaron Rodgers put 67.5 points on the Corsairs at The Dawg House last weekend. "Nah," McMahon said. "We've got a team focus over here. Joints over here were serving W-burgers, 'cause the W is all that matters."
