Friday, November 6, 2009

QGIRL SHARIS GOES PUBLIC; URGES PEACE IN THE STREETS

Sharis has been at the heart of many of the Bakers' front office decisions.


By Faith Popcorn
Bakers PR Director

NASHVEGAS — Following recent days of speculation, troubled singer Amy Winehouse revealed to the press that she is indeed QGirl "Sharis" Sharif, sister of 12th Ave. owner QCurl Sharif.

Sharis made the surprise admission this afternoon at a press conference at the Cherry Bomb Cafe, with her brother at her side. She used the forum to call for peace in the streets that have seen fighting following the bombing of the Jo-Jo-A-GoGo. Midtown Mojo fans have been attempting to destroy the Cherry Bomb in a misguided fit of retaliation.

"As surely as I can stop smoking crack and meth, the Mojo fans can stop attacking innocent people and structures," Sharis said. "Our organization had nothing to do with it, though I understand many of our fans applauded the incident. I think there are residual hard-feelings about the way another monkey appeared on the landscape when Baker fans felt it was a proprietary mascot.

"Still, our organization deplores the current situation and calls for peace."

Following her statement, her brother draped a shroud on her from behind and led her to the bar. For his part, QCurl has seemed shaken by the death of former Beelzebubbas' owner and coach, Boyd X. Biggs, and has kept a low profile after his bid to host a wake for Biggs was rebuffed.

The Bakers stand at 5-3 following last weekend's hard-fought win over the Mojo, and look to improve their record this week against the anemic Alamo Scouts. A 6-3 record would put them solidly in the race for a playoff spot.

"I'm afraid this whole Jo-Jo-A-GoGo thing has distracted us a bit," Bakers head coach Snoop Dogg said after the press conference. "We can't overlook anyone, given our history. And, I, personally, would like to extend the olive branch to Dave the Animal as well. For a divisional brother to feel so hurt that he would side with an outsider ... well, he must really be hurtin'.

"I'm inviting him to hang with me and QCurl in the Treehouse where we can reminisce and apply salve to those wounds. I would also invite the public to join us to witness the applying of the salve. Tickets will be made available at a reasonable price."

Team officials have set the tickets at $200. They may be purchased exclusively online at www.bakersonline.com.