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| Bill Cheatham, who was having a macchiato at Frothy Monkey when he got a text that the group he leads had become the new owners of the 12th Avenue Bakers, invited the local media to join him for a press conference at the 12South coffee house. |
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports
In a stunning development, a group led superfan Bill Cheatham was awarded ownership today of the 12th Avenue Bakers. The announcement came in the form of a press release Monday morning from the office of NFFA Commissioner Lorena “Meemaw” Murrman.
According to the release, Cheatham’s group, the Bakerbackers Booster Club, submitted a winning bid of $1.6 billion for the Bakers, one of the league’s founding franchises as well as its most troubled organization.
In June, following a Nashville court’s declaration that QCurl Sharif was legally dead, Murrman announced that the Bakers were up for sale. “It was important to resolve the issue quickly, so the team had stable ownership going into the season,” Murrman was quoted as saying in the release, adding that the commissioner was working from her property in Alamo, Texas.
Last month, Cheatham announced that the Bakerbackers’ bid would rely on an internet campaign with the crowd-funding site, KickStarter. While the group did not release details, sources familiar with the effort said the group received nearly $1 billion in contributions during the first two weeks alone.
Many longtime observers of the NFFA were surprised by the outpouring of support for the Bakers — and that the league would take the unprecedented step of awarding a franchise to a grassroots fan organization. Though the Commissioner’s office did not disclose the identities of bidders, it is widely believed that Snoop Lion, Little Jimmy Dickens, Michael Jordan, Mojo D, Donald Trump and Donald Sterling all had submitted proposals to buy the team. (Also rumored: Trump and Sterling planned to change the team’s name to the 12th Avenue Donalds.) Whatever plans may have existed for a bid from a Russian investor group were sidetracked after Vice President Joe Biden, who spoke at Sharif’s memorial service, announced that Russian financial assets in the U.S. were frozen.
In a hastily called press conference in the Frothy Monkey coffee shop, a 12South hangout, Cheatham said he was ecstatic. “Thanks to KickStarter,” said Cheatham, who sported a Glock pistol in a shoulder holder and a permit for the weapon in a lanyard hanging from his neck,” we’re starting off with more than a million shareholders. Now the Bakers will truly be the people’s team.
“More than any other franchise in the NFFA, the Bakers really have a national fanbase. Even so, we have to give credit where due to QCurl for being dead. I think a lot of the money we raised was given in reaction to his tragic disappearance. I don’t think we could have done it without him being gone.”
Cheatham announced that franchise player Rob Bironas would remain as coach. He also said that the team planned to extend its existing stadium naming rights agreement with Grey Goose, but that an innovative deal was being worked out with an investment firm to share naming rights to the field in a way that would honor the team’s beloved chimpanzee mascot. If an agreement could be concluded, Cheatham said, the playing surface would be known as Mr. TD Ameritrade Field.
The only changes to existing arrangements, Cheatham said, were that the team’s draft headquarters would move from Sharif’s old underground bunker beneath Grey Goose Stadium to Sevier Park — and that veteran sportswriter Woody Larry’s press credentials would be revoked permanently. “If he sets foot in the Goose without buying a ticket,” Cheatham said, “security have orders to shoot on sight.”
Cheatham announced that the Bakers would continue the Bacchanal, the annual festival co-sponsored by the team and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas that has become almost as popular as the league itself. He said the team’s liaison for the event would be his cousin, Howie Cheatham, and announced that they had just signed contracts with Cher, David Crosby, and a reanimated Freddie Mercury and Queen to be part of the show.
While many fans seemed excited about the new ownership, others expressed concern over Cheatham’s promise to “run the Bakers like a professional organization, a real team.”
“Part of the Bakers’ fan appeal, frankly, was the chronic chaos within the organization and on the field,” said Larry, who has covered the team for more than a decade. “A well-run organization might actually damage the brand.”
Fellow NFFA owner Mojo D, rumored to have been behind an assassination attempt on Sharif last year, scoffed at the notion that new ownership would give the Bakers new life. “Zey have a long tradition,” said D in an affected French accent, “and eet ees not a weening one.”
According to the release, Cheatham’s group, the Bakerbackers Booster Club, submitted a winning bid of $1.6 billion for the Bakers, one of the league’s founding franchises as well as its most troubled organization.
In June, following a Nashville court’s declaration that QCurl Sharif was legally dead, Murrman announced that the Bakers were up for sale. “It was important to resolve the issue quickly, so the team had stable ownership going into the season,” Murrman was quoted as saying in the release, adding that the commissioner was working from her property in Alamo, Texas.
Last month, Cheatham announced that the Bakerbackers’ bid would rely on an internet campaign with the crowd-funding site, KickStarter. While the group did not release details, sources familiar with the effort said the group received nearly $1 billion in contributions during the first two weeks alone.
Many longtime observers of the NFFA were surprised by the outpouring of support for the Bakers — and that the league would take the unprecedented step of awarding a franchise to a grassroots fan organization. Though the Commissioner’s office did not disclose the identities of bidders, it is widely believed that Snoop Lion, Little Jimmy Dickens, Michael Jordan, Mojo D, Donald Trump and Donald Sterling all had submitted proposals to buy the team. (Also rumored: Trump and Sterling planned to change the team’s name to the 12th Avenue Donalds.) Whatever plans may have existed for a bid from a Russian investor group were sidetracked after Vice President Joe Biden, who spoke at Sharif’s memorial service, announced that Russian financial assets in the U.S. were frozen.
In a hastily called press conference in the Frothy Monkey coffee shop, a 12South hangout, Cheatham said he was ecstatic. “Thanks to KickStarter,” said Cheatham, who sported a Glock pistol in a shoulder holder and a permit for the weapon in a lanyard hanging from his neck,” we’re starting off with more than a million shareholders. Now the Bakers will truly be the people’s team.
“More than any other franchise in the NFFA, the Bakers really have a national fanbase. Even so, we have to give credit where due to QCurl for being dead. I think a lot of the money we raised was given in reaction to his tragic disappearance. I don’t think we could have done it without him being gone.”
Cheatham announced that franchise player Rob Bironas would remain as coach. He also said that the team planned to extend its existing stadium naming rights agreement with Grey Goose, but that an innovative deal was being worked out with an investment firm to share naming rights to the field in a way that would honor the team’s beloved chimpanzee mascot. If an agreement could be concluded, Cheatham said, the playing surface would be known as Mr. TD Ameritrade Field.
The only changes to existing arrangements, Cheatham said, were that the team’s draft headquarters would move from Sharif’s old underground bunker beneath Grey Goose Stadium to Sevier Park — and that veteran sportswriter Woody Larry’s press credentials would be revoked permanently. “If he sets foot in the Goose without buying a ticket,” Cheatham said, “security have orders to shoot on sight.”
Cheatham announced that the Bakers would continue the Bacchanal, the annual festival co-sponsored by the team and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas that has become almost as popular as the league itself. He said the team’s liaison for the event would be his cousin, Howie Cheatham, and announced that they had just signed contracts with Cher, David Crosby, and a reanimated Freddie Mercury and Queen to be part of the show.
While many fans seemed excited about the new ownership, others expressed concern over Cheatham’s promise to “run the Bakers like a professional organization, a real team.”
“Part of the Bakers’ fan appeal, frankly, was the chronic chaos within the organization and on the field,” said Larry, who has covered the team for more than a decade. “A well-run organization might actually damage the brand.”
Fellow NFFA owner Mojo D, rumored to have been behind an assassination attempt on Sharif last year, scoffed at the notion that new ownership would give the Bakers new life. “Zey have a long tradition,” said D in an affected French accent, “and eet ees not a weening one.”
