2008 BLACK DOGS TOAST GREEN LOSS Remain the only undefeated team in NFFA history

Running back Chris Johnson, aka CJ2K, was one of the members of the undefeated 2008 Black Dogs team celebrating at the McMahonistan room Monday Night.

By. R.E. Porter

Associated Web Press

Members of the 2008 East Nashville Black Dogs gathered at Club Gitmo Monday night to watch Monday Night Football and have several rounds of farewell toasts to 2022’s last undefeated team, the Village Green. The Green were blown out by the Ballers, their hated division rivals. 

It was the fourteenth time alumni of the historic 2008 Black Dogs team have gathered to commemorate their perfect 16-0 campaign and to celebrate one more year as the only team in NFFA history to go undefeated for an entire season. 

“With the parity in the league these days, I don’t think anyone will be able to match what we did,” said Tony Romo, who was the quarterback on that 2008 team. 

Legendary East Nashville head coach Jim McMahon, who helmed three Black Dogs championship teams including the 2008 squad, hosted the celebration at his namesake bar inside Club Gitmo, the McMahonistan room. Besides Romo, seven other members of the undefeated team were on hand Monday night, including Chris Johnson, Patrick Willis, Frank Gore, Maurice Jones-Drew, Greg Jennings, Jared Allen and John Abraham. 

In addition, several current Black Dogs players stopped by the party, including Justin Herbert, Stefon Diggs, Joe Mixon and Minkah Fitzpatrick. Reclusive team owner Bill Money showed up with GM Rex Ryan near the end of MNF and bought several rounds of champagne for everyone.

There also were several celebrities in attendance. League founder and West Nashville Beelzebubbas owner Dr. Jorge Linardo was seen with Kim Kardashian on his arm. A seemingly reconciled Patrick Carney and Michelle Branch were seen cuddling at the far end of the bar. 

After MNF, Money offered several toasts as the champagne flowed. He name-checked all the former players in attendance, as well as McMahon (“the greatest coach in league history”) and the Black Dogs organization itself (“greatest franchise in NFFA history”). 

But the most toasted guest was Ballers owner Mojo D, who lives at Club Gitmo. He stopped by to see what was going on, and when the partiers saw who it was, they gave him hugs and slaps on the back for his team’s win over the Green, and insisted he join the celebration. By the end of the evening, Mojo D had received so many free tequila shots, he had to be carried back to his room on a lower floor at the club.

GREEN ENERGY? ‘Treehouse Summit’ fuels White House move on marijuana pardons

President Biden decided to pardon anyone convicted under federal laws for simple possession of marijuana during a meeting at QCurl Sharif's West Nashville residence. 

By Ariel-Mutha Tafoya

FSN Sports

Just after the Biden Administration’s announcement on Thursday that it would pardon all offenders convicted under federal laws against simple marijuana possession, reporters began hearing rumors that the key driver behind the abrupt policy shift was not in Washington but within the NFFA.

As FSN has confirmed through exclusive interviews with multiple sources, the idea for the pardon grew out of a meeting between Biden and Sir QCurl Sharif at Sharif’s West Nashville Tree House residence, the scene of frequent days-long parties attended by Biden during his time as Vice President. Ostensibly, the meeting had been timed to coincide with a visit by Sharif to Nashville for a road game by his team, the London Bakers. Given Sharif’s close ties to the Ukrainian government and President Volodomyr Zelensky, Biden and Secretary of State Anthony Blinken had arranged to meet Sharif to gain insights that might influence US policy in the Ukraine conflict.

While Ukraine was in fact a topic of initial conversations, sources confirm that, over several plates of Snoop Dogg’s signature onion rings and a case of Corona beer, the conversation soon shifted toward developing a comprehensive new policy on marijuana — an issue that both Sharif and Snoop have long championed.

“If you’re going green, then you got to go with puff power, not just wind power,” witnesses overheard Snoop telling Biden.

When a somewhat startled Blinken said, “I beg your pardon,” Snoop fired back, “That’s what I’m talking about! Nobody should have to beg for a pardon for a minor possession offense. It’s time to get on with the get-on and get this country back on the right track!”

From there, it was quickly decided that all federal offenders for simple marijuana possession would receive pardons, and that state governors would be urged to follow suit. The only question was when to announce the policy change. “One young aide thought it would be fitting to schedule the announcement for 4/20/2023,” said one source, “but then Sir Q said people can’t afford to wait another day in jail. Besides, Q added, “Cannabis is the most unifying influence in American life today. Do this a month before the mid-terms, and the country will rally behind you, Republicans will howl and everybody else will mellow about the economy.”

As one source claimed, Snoop chimed in: “A hundred years from now, people will remember the date of the Treehouse Summit and who made it happen.” Then he paraphrased Shakespeare:

“From this day to the ending of the world,

We shall be remember’d;

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that partakes with me

Shall be my brother:

And gentlemen in England now a-bed

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That smoked with us on Saint Crispin’s day.”

“I swear that happened,” one source said, not realizing that another witness had captured Snoop’s speech on cell phone video. “He stood up and recited the fucking St. Crispin’s Day speech, and Sir Q and Biden start weeping openly together, and then at the end the Secretary of State walks out with a whole backpack full of the SodBakers’ “Puff the Magic Dragon” product, saying “We happy few!” over and over again. I was there. It fucking happened.”