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| Wilder the Animal inspects the new office he has selected for his father. |
By R.E. Porter
Associated Press
As the Cambridge Animals have soared to the top of the standings after the first two weeks of the playoff league, a tense drama has been unfolding behind-the-scenes within the organization, the AWP has learned.
Owner Dave the Animal is currently out of the country on business, so general manager Wilder the Animal, DTA's son, is calling the shots that have put the team at the top of the playoff standings. Sources within the Animals organization say the team's success in DTA's absence has gone to WTA's head, prompting the younger Animal to make a major power play for control of the team.
"I'm in control now," WTA is alleged to have announced to management, players and staff in a team-wide email. "DTA has been made redundant."
According to a source who wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal, WTA has had the team's attorneys file a motion to have his father declared mentally incompetent. All of DTA's possessions that were at Animals headquarters have been moved out of his palatial office to a storage space, and WTA is now occupying the office. In addition, all the locks have been changed at the facility.
Reached in London by the AWP for a response to this news, DTA said, "Of course, I'm alarmed by what Wilder has done while I'm out of the country." After a long pause, the elder Animal said, "But on the other hand, I'm really proud of him for taking the initiative. It's a great opportunity for him."
The AWP will have more on this story as it develops.
Obama, Biden Skip Paris Rally to Join Sharif
Once again this week, the 12th Avenue Bakers found themselves in the middle of an international incident — this time, not directly of their own making.
Following the death of Little Jimmy Dickens, a part owner and longtime friend of the team, President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden (who also are friends of the team) committed to be part of a memorial service for LJD in NashVegas. As 40,000 fans inside a frigid Grey Goose Stadium shivered, Obama delivered a moving eulogy for the country singer he had first met at Sharif's West Nashville Tree House several years ago.
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| Obama arriving for LJD memorial. |
"After I rashly said white people cling to their guns and their religion, I met Little Jimmy, and he showed me a new way," Obama said. "He said my speech had led him to write a new song, and then he played it for me: 'Red and yellow, black and white, guns, Grey Goose and Jesus go down just right.' I saw how narrow my own vision had been, and I was a better president for it."
The commitment to attending the service in NashVegas, however, left the president and vice president unable to be in Paris for the million-person rally attended by numerous heads of state, including British prime minister David Cameron and German chancellor Angela Merkel. The absence of top administration figures was viewed by many in France as a diplomatic snub. It also provided more fodder for right-wing commentators, like Fox News' Bill O'Reilly, who fulminated on the air about the "cancerous Sharif-Obama Axis."
Biden, for his part, appeared to make matters only worse when he pointed out that "the Bakers have a long French connection. Let's not forget that Mr. Sharif and his cousins grew up there. To stand with the Bakers is to stand with France."
To muddle things even further, the Bakers had printed thousands of T-shirts inscribed "Je Suis LJD"— with no knowledge, a source inside the organization claimed, that a similar slogan was being used in Paris to show solidarity with victims of the terror attack on the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo.
"Let's say the whole slogan thing was meant as a joke," Sharif told FSN. "Around here, we have seen so much hurt that we have learned the best way to deal with it is to make a joke. It informs everything we do, from the Nazi-themed draft night party to trading the league MVP to our BakerNation Rewards Program. It is, in the end, our healing and self-sacrificial gift to a world in pain." — Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, FSN
