In their investigation of QCurl Sharif's Bobberhead Lodge, Howenwald police discovered a state-of-the-art human pit fighting facility dubbed The Zombie Dome by Sharif.By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports
In the wake of grand jury indictments against three NFFA owners, a team general manager and the league commissioner’s daughters, sordid new details emerged yesterday about QCurl Sharif’s now-infamous Bobberhead Lodge near Hohenwald, where guests allegedly paid thousands of dollars each for the privilege of hunting zombies cloned from the DNA of Sea Hogs owner and international fugitive Tirik O’Bobber.
For the first time, sources within the police investigation revealed the existence of a state-of-the-art, 800-seat human pit fighting facility within the 2,000-acre Bobberhead property. According to the sources, who asked to remain anonymous because they did not have permission to discuss details of the case, Sharif frequently attended “death matches” between zombie gladiators who had been subjected to months of massive steroid injections, then dosed with methamphetamines before their fights. A guest book seized by investigators included such celebrity names as William Shatner, Luther Campbell, Jon Corzine, Omar Sharif, David Cassidy and presidential candidate Herman Cain.
The police source said that Corzine had tearfully confessed during interrogation but said “it was all a big misunderstanding.” Corzine allegedly claimed not to have been part of any death matches but had only attended “occasional” sumo wrestling events involving reanimated zombie clones of Burl Ives, whom he claimed Sharif sometimes forced to lead the crowd in singing “Michael Rowed the Boat Ashore” and “This Land Is Your Land.”
Attorneys for Corzine denied any confessions had been given and said their client would plead not guilty.
A spokesman for the Cain campaign vigorously denied that Cain had ever visited Hohenwald, despite the perhaps coincidental fact that one of the zombies was found wearing a championship belt inscribed “Hermanator.” Police said they would re-evaluate the claims about Cain’s presence in light of revelations from the Baker organization that former Vice President Dick Cheney had worn blackface on his visits to the lodge.
New details also emerged about the zombie safaris that prompted the full-scale investigation of the Bobberhead Lodge compound. According to sources, Maris and Cassandra Money were weekly customers, often hunting zombies while riding in chariots that the 12th Avenue Bakers had ostensibly donated to the Centennial Park Hippodrome they and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas had donated to the city of Nashville in 2008. Once a year, sources added, the Money sisters staged a special “running of the Bobbers” involving more than 200 zombies released as game animals. The annual hunts were accompanied by a continuous loop of the Beach Boys’ “Barbara Ann,” broadcast at concert volume over loudspeakers throughout the property, which Cash Money sometimes jokingly referred to as “Your Assic Park” as the taunted the zombies.
A Davidson County deputy district attorney said that the Bakers-Bubbas-funded Haven Hamilton Foundation, the organization through which the chariots had been donated, could be in danger of losing its 501(c)(3) tax-exempt status if the chariots were being used for profit.
In addition to scouring the Bobberhead Lodge property, police have attempted, so far in vain, to obtain search warrants for Sharif’s nearby Hohenwald farm, which is believed to contain a zombie-production operation. District Judge G. Leonard Skinner yesterday refused a third request for a warrant, said law enforcement officials.
Beelzebubbas’ attorney Ellis D. Hayes, who said he is also representing Sharif pro bono in this case, said early today that “Mr. Sharif has nothing to hide but is fully engaged at the moment in other matters.” He added that Sharif believes the scandal is connected to the curse placed on the Bakers by Cambridge owner Dave the Animal, and that with the help of longtime friend of the team Shiva the Destroyer “all will be resolved before the end of the week.”
Meanwhile, Hayes said he has filed motions to have the Ghost of the Ghost of Boyd X. Biggs removed from the grand jury indictment, since state law does not provide for prosecutions of the dead. He added that Bubbas’ GM Chuck Barris, whom he described as a “true patriot who one day will be recognized as one of the heroes of this struggle,” could neither comment, nor testify in open court, for reasons of national security.
For the first time, sources within the police investigation revealed the existence of a state-of-the-art, 800-seat human pit fighting facility within the 2,000-acre Bobberhead property. According to the sources, who asked to remain anonymous because they did not have permission to discuss details of the case, Sharif frequently attended “death matches” between zombie gladiators who had been subjected to months of massive steroid injections, then dosed with methamphetamines before their fights. A guest book seized by investigators included such celebrity names as William Shatner, Luther Campbell, Jon Corzine, Omar Sharif, David Cassidy and presidential candidate Herman Cain.
The police source said that Corzine had tearfully confessed during interrogation but said “it was all a big misunderstanding.” Corzine allegedly claimed not to have been part of any death matches but had only attended “occasional” sumo wrestling events involving reanimated zombie clones of Burl Ives, whom he claimed Sharif sometimes forced to lead the crowd in singing “Michael Rowed the Boat Ashore” and “This Land Is Your Land.”
Attorneys for Corzine denied any confessions had been given and said their client would plead not guilty.
A spokesman for the Cain campaign vigorously denied that Cain had ever visited Hohenwald, despite the perhaps coincidental fact that one of the zombies was found wearing a championship belt inscribed “Hermanator.” Police said they would re-evaluate the claims about Cain’s presence in light of revelations from the Baker organization that former Vice President Dick Cheney had worn blackface on his visits to the lodge.
New details also emerged about the zombie safaris that prompted the full-scale investigation of the Bobberhead Lodge compound. According to sources, Maris and Cassandra Money were weekly customers, often hunting zombies while riding in chariots that the 12th Avenue Bakers had ostensibly donated to the Centennial Park Hippodrome they and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas had donated to the city of Nashville in 2008. Once a year, sources added, the Money sisters staged a special “running of the Bobbers” involving more than 200 zombies released as game animals. The annual hunts were accompanied by a continuous loop of the Beach Boys’ “Barbara Ann,” broadcast at concert volume over loudspeakers throughout the property, which Cash Money sometimes jokingly referred to as “Your Assic Park” as the taunted the zombies.
A Davidson County deputy district attorney said that the Bakers-Bubbas-funded Haven Hamilton Foundation, the organization through which the chariots had been donated, could be in danger of losing its 501(c)(3) tax-exempt status if the chariots were being used for profit.
In addition to scouring the Bobberhead Lodge property, police have attempted, so far in vain, to obtain search warrants for Sharif’s nearby Hohenwald farm, which is believed to contain a zombie-production operation. District Judge G. Leonard Skinner yesterday refused a third request for a warrant, said law enforcement officials.
Beelzebubbas’ attorney Ellis D. Hayes, who said he is also representing Sharif pro bono in this case, said early today that “Mr. Sharif has nothing to hide but is fully engaged at the moment in other matters.” He added that Sharif believes the scandal is connected to the curse placed on the Bakers by Cambridge owner Dave the Animal, and that with the help of longtime friend of the team Shiva the Destroyer “all will be resolved before the end of the week.”
Meanwhile, Hayes said he has filed motions to have the Ghost of the Ghost of Boyd X. Biggs removed from the grand jury indictment, since state law does not provide for prosecutions of the dead. He added that Bubbas’ GM Chuck Barris, whom he described as a “true patriot who one day will be recognized as one of the heroes of this struggle,” could neither comment, nor testify in open court, for reasons of national security.
