Monday, August 4, 2008

SPURNED MASCOT TO OPEN NEW CLUB

This cell phone photo shows Mojo Jojo outside the Belmont United
Methodist Church and he appears to be wearing a Beelzebubbas cap.


SPURNED MASCOT TO OPEN NEW CLUB

Jojo A Go Go Is a Go; Turf Questions Remain

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, Fantasy Sports Network

Just days after the Midtown Mojo cut all ties with him, ousted mascot Mojo Jojo announced that he is opening a new nightspot, on the turf of his old team, to be bankrolled by the leader of a rival club.

At a press conference late Monday, Jojo unveiled plans for the new venue, the Jojo A Go Go, billed as a combination dance club/performance hall/house of worship. The club, located in Hillsboro Village, is being sponsored and funded by Jorge Linardo, president emeritus of the West Nashville Beelzebubbas.

“I am humbled to be part of this beautiful palace dedicated to justice and shalom,” said a tearful Jojo before breaking into sobs and turning the rest of the presentation over to L. S. DeHayes, legal counsel for the project.

The 20,000 square-foot facility is now under construction next to Belmont United Methodist Church on Hillsboro Road. Because the two buildings share a common wall, many passersby had assumed that the new construction was an addition to the church.

Actually, explained DeHayes, the Jojo A Go Go will house, among other things, a Unitarian congregation. “Dr. Linardo believes in inclusiveness,” Hayes said, “especially when zoning variances are at stake. Happily, the Unitarians recognize Jojo-ism as a legitimate pathway to the divine.”

The larger question for the NFFA is whether the role of Linardo in the new club will inflame a smoldering turf war between the Beelzebubbas and the Mojo. “This looks like a clear provocation,” said one official with the Mojo, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was embarrassed to be associated with the Mojo. “I expect our owner will protest to the commissioner, or he might design a new logo or something.”

“In hindsight, I can see how they (the Mojo) might think that, especially since we booked Mojo D’s cousins, Tenacious D, as the house band,” said club manager Paula, who left her long-standing position at the nearby Pancake Pantry to run the Jojo A Go Go. “But this was really all about a business opportunity. Dr. Linardo had already been planning to develop a club there, and then when Mojo Jojo became available, it caused him to refocus a little bit. It’s not often you can pick up a celebrity figure like Mojo Jojo on waivers for a venture like this. I don’t think you’ll necessarily see him wearing a Beelzebubbas jersey this fall. Then again, the little guy is pretty unpredictable, and hell hath no fury like a scorned monkey.”