 |
| Ballers owner Mojo D (left) has been reunited at Club Gitmo with former Bakers WR Covid-19 (right), who traveled with Mojo D from China to the U.S. earlier this year. |
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya
FSN Sports
Covid-19, the troubled wide receiver cut by the London Bakers before the beginning of the NFFA season, has been granted asylum at Club Gitmo, FSN has learned.
“No. 19,” as he was known in the Bakers’ organization, had been in hiding ever since President and sworn enemy of the Bakers Donald Trump tested positive last week for the novel coronavirus. “We determined that No. 19 had received numerous, credible death threats from right-wing extremists and militia groups, urged on by commentators from Fox News,” said Boutros-Boutros Bouti from the office of the UN High Commissioner on Refugees. “That is why the UN reached out.”
According to sources within the US intelligence community, Covid also was being targeted by Russian strongman Vladimir Putin because of his association with the Bakers. Intelligence officials have long believed that Putin was behind an unsuccessful attempt two years ago to poison Sir QCurl Sharif, owner of the Bakers and Britain’s unofficial ambassador to the NFFA, with deadly polonium.
Maryjane Livingood of the West Nashville Beelzebubbas organization confirmed that Covid-19 had been granted temporary asylum at the team’s Club Gitmo headquarters. “Accommodations are a little tight right now, but we were able to bunk Covid with Mojo D, who also has received asylum here, until our newest expansion project is complete,” Livingood said. “Dr. Linardo has always encouraged us to be an oasis of freedom, and we take that mission seriously.”
It is unknown how Covid was able to reach asylum safely, but rumors swirled in both Washington and NashVegas that a National Security Agency team under command of General George Washington Leonard helped smuggle him to Club Gitmo from a hideout at Acoma Sky Pueblo in New Mexico.
Sharif, Livingood noted, had called Dr. Linardo personally to thank him for granting asylum to Covid-19 and played an audiotape of the conversation for a reporter. “That poor kid’s been through hell,” Sharif said on the call, “mostly just because he happened to have been a Baker and an anti-vaxxer. Thank God the Deep State and Club Gitmo are around to do the Lord’s work.”
FSN will update this developing story.
