A tiny, frozen crowd of hard-core fans turned out for the Corsairs' 2017 "Moral Victory Parade." One of several effigies of Case Keenum lining the parade route burns in the background.
By Soren Bernyn
Fantasy Sports Network
After their embarrassing and disastrous loss in the 2017 NFFA Championship game, the Downtown Corsairs still found a reason to party. On New Years Eve, with temperatures in the single digits, Corsairs GM Mojo D treated hearty fans to a Pedal Tavern Parade around the Music City Center, home of the team’s fabled field, The Roofie.
The reason?
“Simple,” Mojo D bellowed. “A three-game sweep of the Black Dogs, bitches!” The assembled drunken throng erupted in muffled cheers. “East Nasty is the winningest franchise in the NFFA - Money never lets you forget that. But not this season! A 3-game sweep of the Dogs: that’s never happened before, and after a week of contemplation, consternation and self-flagellation in my Fortress of Solitude, we had to find something to celebrate.
“The NFFA has many connections to Vanderbilt University, so my fellow team executives are well-acquainted with ‘moral victory’ sports celebrations. And we damn sure earned this one.”
The streets around the Roofie were lined with burning effigies of QB Case Keenum: “First, it’s f*cking freezing out here,” one bundled-up fan said, “and we also have to purge ourselves of the now-infamous ‘Keenum Gambit’ - this seems like a fun way to handle it.”
The parade ended up at Corsairs’ HQ, The Blue Room at Third Man Records. However, coach Jack White was not in attendance, leading to whispers of a coaching change in the wake of the team’s mortifyingly poor performance in their loss to the West Nashville Beelzebubbas. Mojo D cryptically demurred: “it’s a long, cold few months until the 2018 season - decisions get made, tempers flare, brothers fight, time heals. Stay tuned.”
The small but mighty band of fans who gathered then lit one final Keenum effigy (which turned out to be an enormous joint), joined hands and sang the team anthem “Rather Be Lucky (Than Good) (Any Day).” 2017 drew to a close as the Nashville Fire Department arrived to put out the Blue Room fire. One fan said: “no way we were going back outside for that shit, man." Mojo D stood silently to one side, taking in the scene alone, shaking his head and smiling wistfully as a single tear crept down his cheek.
