Friday, December 26, 2008

BLACK DOGS WIN, EAST SIDE RIOTS

Scenes from the East Nashville victory riots.


BLACK DOGS WIN, EAST SIDE RIOTS

GM Buddy Ryan arrested for streaking, claims he was dosed — again

By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press

East Nashville not only captured the 2008 NFFA title with a nine-point win over West Nashville in the championship game Monday night, the Black Dogs became the first team to complete a perfect, 16-0 season.

The Black Dogs' unprecedented victory set off rioting in East Nashville which made the riots there when the Dogs won the title three years ago look like recess at an elementary school.

Police cars were overturned, portions of the Woodland Street and Gateway Boulevard bridges were damaged by East side residents vowing to "secede from West Nashville," and one dive bar on Main Street was torched, but police say that may have been unrelelated to the Black Dogs' win. On what may be a related note, Music City Sports Book reported that heavy betting on the Black Dogs to cover the 14-point spread resulted in massive losses for the betting public when the Beelzebubbas pulled within nine points by the final gun.

A number of West Nashville fans filed reports with the police immediately after the game, claiming they were assaulted as they left the Dog House by what one victim described as "East Nashville thugs." Jeremy Wyner said three young men wearing Black Dogs gear forced him into the back of a cargo van and asked him repeatedly, "Who's your daddy, now?" to which he was expected to reply, "The mighty, mighty East side." According to Wyner, the ordeal lasted for several hours.

As in 2005, East Nashville GM Buddy Ryan was arrested in the riots — this time for disorderly conduct, rather than public nudity. He was running down Woodland Street screaming when police stopped him. They asked him what he was doing and he said, "streaking," which, considering he was fully clothed, made them wonder if he was on drugs. He admitted that he was and claimed he had been dosed with some powerful hallucinogen by Saddam Hussein and Jorge Linardo in disguise.

Singer-songwriter and recording artist Todd Snider, the unofficial mayor of the East Nashville who watched the game's conclusion from Commissioner William D. Money's luxury suite at the Dog House, assembled his band outside the stadium to provide musical accompaniment to the rioters. Black Dogs defensive back and game MVP Josh Wilson, whose 23 points included two picks and a sack, joined Snider in singing, "Conservative, Christian, Right-Wing Republican, Straight, White, American Males," which Snider dedicated to "West Nashville Republican mother-[expletives]." Running back Chris Johnson, who tallied 12 points in the title contest, joined in on percussion.

When reached at police headquarters just across the Main Street bridge and asked why the police hadn't quelled the riots, Metro police chief Ronal Serpas said, "I'm not [expletive]ing with the East Nasty. Momma Serpas didn't raise no fool."

QCurl Sharif, owner of the third-place 12th Avenue Bakers, was enjoying a cocktail at 3 Crow Bar with victorious coach Jizzle McMizzle and observing the riots out the bar's front window. Sharif said of the Black Dogs undefeated season: "It is truly remarkable — mind-boggling, in fact. Like Snoop said, they were like gangstas rolling through kindergarten."

McMizzle said the Black Dogs deserved all the credit. "All I did was challenge them to go undefeated," he said. "They're the ones who met that challenge and accomplished something that can never be surpassed, only equaled." Then he paused before adding, "Ave Canes Nigra."