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| Bakers PR maven Faith Popcorn and owner QCurl Sharif leave the courtroom after the team sued the Corsairs in 2013 over the hiring of Ray Ray Lewis. (File Photo) |
By Man Ray Natural
The Mainline Dope
NASHVILLE—In the wake of a second NFFA championship game win in three years by the Downtown Corsairs, and in the aftermath of one of the league's more tumultuous seasons, 12th Avenue Bakers owners QCurl Sharif and Petro "Chocolate King" Poroshenko have filed a federal lawsuit in Nashville seeking an annulment of the entire season, and any player trades contained therein. It has been learned by The Dope that Sharif personally delivered the paperwork to federal judge Naomi Morningstar at her home on Christmas Day. Sources close to Sharif have revealed that he remained within the residence from the early morning hours until late afternoon, and was seen leaving the judge's Germantown home barefoot and wearing a black court robe that appeared to be too small for his ample carriage.
Details of the suit were not immediately known, but it has been learned that Sharif complained loudly to the commissioner's office throughout the season regarding corruption and collusion, including what Sharif considered to be unfair practices by the Corsairs, the Atlanta Smackdaddies, and the Black Dogs, among others. Sharif told reporters following the Bakers playoff loss to the Corsairs that he felt owner Mojo D had violated the 160-hour rule in which NFFA owners are barred from scouting, research, and team personnel moves that require a total of more than 160 online hours in a week.
"Hell, that hardly leaves a man time to wash his own personal tackle," Sharif said. "Maybe an hour of sleep each night. I don't pretend to speak for every owner, but word in The Treehouse and The Cherry Bomb is that things have gotten a little out of balance in the Death Star headquarters. When a man neglects his own garden, the harvest can be bitter."
Speaking by phone from his home on Christmas night, Sharif would not discuss the full reach of the lawsuit, but alluded to his partner Poroshenko's disappointment in the J.J. Watt trade as one reason behind the action, and commented briefly on other points.
"It's fair to say I went rogue on that trade," Sharif said. "I didn't consult the King — as league bylaws mandate in co-ownership situations — before pulling the trigger, and my friend felt that I was in no shape to have made a stable decision at that time. I was reeling from Bironas' death when Buddy Ryan called. We had dinner at his place -- I may as well have been in the Golden Triangle — and before I knew it, Kirk Cousins was a Baker, and Watt was not. In my defense, and as I explained to Big Chocky at the time, J.J. had not done much to that point and was playing out his contract. I had visions of landing the next Chosen One, and trading Manning. I still can't believe the chump wears The Blue.
"Petro has been riding my ass ever since, threatening to file suit on his own. He feels we might still have a claim on Watt due to my mental state at the time, and due to the fact that part of the trade involved a trunkload of China White. But, what really chapped me, and forced my hand with this thing, was the revelation that Mojo D and Lex were withholding league money so they could finance their own questionable, and I might say, alternative, lifestyles. Atlanta has been disengaged all year, and in fact, their lack of setting a lineup had an impact on league standings. You can run the numbers. And, the Corsairs are sitting on a mountain of cash — I've been to a couple of parties over there and I've seen it [the pile] behind his house. Shit, I had to do some blow and hire a sherpa to get to the top of that bitch. It's a total lack of respect for how the league does business. We pay to hate. No pay, no hate."
Many Baker fans had decried the trade of Watt, but they had been somewhat mollified by the team's run to the playoffs. When it became obvious that the Bakers lacked the punch to advance, Sharif and head coach Snoop Dogg came under intense criticism. Some media called for an investigation into Sharif's role in Bironas' death, and into former Baker PR maven Faith Popcorn's grave health condition. Popcorn is being cared for in Sharif's home and has not been seen in public since her return to the U.S. from Ukraine. And, it has been documented the owner was making the payments on the former star kicker and legendary coach's SUV.
"First, we would congratulate the Corsairs for their win on the field," Sharif said. "We understand how hard it is to raise that trophy. But, we would seek to have the whole season voided — as if it had never been played. The acrimony and underhandedness that has marked this season must be addressed. I don't like lawsuits, but let's be patient and let the process run its course. I think the trophy must be protected and returned to the vault. It's our last symbol of integrity."
When asked if it was true that Sharif had arranged for 100 Ukrainian women to work as "naked coffee tables" at his upcoming New Year's Eve party, he ended the conversation. The Mainline Dope has requested to view all documents filed with the court.
