Black Dogs head coach Jim McMahon is getting back to
what made him the winningest coach in NFFA history.
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
"Last season was a blur," East Nashville Black Dogs head coach Jim McMahon said last night at the Cherry Bomb Cafe.
In a freewheeling, impromptu interview, McMahon said he has put aside the distractions of a year ago when the Black Dogs failed to make the playoffs after five straight Jorge division titles and two NFFA championships.
"I got so wrapped up in the whole Jizzle McMizzle thing that I lost my focus," he said. "So I've closed my club, Jizzle McMizzle's — I'm loaning it to the Linardist party for use as their temporary Nashville headquarters.
"And I've got to tell you, man," he said with a catch in his voice. "Jizzle McMizzle is dead to me."
McMahon was in a sentimental mood as he ordered another round of Touchdown Tasers™, expressing great affection for Thurman Murrman, the owner of the Alamo Scouts. Murrman recently sold the team to Dave "Goody" Goodridge, who moved the franchise to Hillboro Village and renamed it The Village Green.
"I'm really gonna miss ThurMurr, I had 15 straight wins against him, you know," he said. "What can I say, he was my bitch. When your bitch leaves, you miss him."
After pausing to wipe a tear from his eye, McMahon continued. "But I look forward to making The Village Green my bitch. I wonder if that's what they're smoking. I hope so. You know over there it would be the kind." He closed his eyes and smiled at the very thought of what they're smoking in Hillsboro Village.
When the coach opened his eyes, he said, "I heard Mojo D has switched to a 'gay pirate Muslim terrorist' theme. Did he clear that with the Fedayeen Bakers and DTA?" Then he broke into a fit of laughter that lasted several minutes.
In a freewheeling, impromptu interview, McMahon said he has put aside the distractions of a year ago when the Black Dogs failed to make the playoffs after five straight Jorge division titles and two NFFA championships.
"I got so wrapped up in the whole Jizzle McMizzle thing that I lost my focus," he said. "So I've closed my club, Jizzle McMizzle's — I'm loaning it to the Linardist party for use as their temporary Nashville headquarters.
"And I've got to tell you, man," he said with a catch in his voice. "Jizzle McMizzle is dead to me."
McMahon was in a sentimental mood as he ordered another round of Touchdown Tasers™, expressing great affection for Thurman Murrman, the owner of the Alamo Scouts. Murrman recently sold the team to Dave "Goody" Goodridge, who moved the franchise to Hillboro Village and renamed it The Village Green.
"I'm really gonna miss ThurMurr, I had 15 straight wins against him, you know," he said. "What can I say, he was my bitch. When your bitch leaves, you miss him."
After pausing to wipe a tear from his eye, McMahon continued. "But I look forward to making The Village Green my bitch. I wonder if that's what they're smoking. I hope so. You know over there it would be the kind." He closed his eyes and smiled at the very thought of what they're smoking in Hillsboro Village.
When the coach opened his eyes, he said, "I heard Mojo D has switched to a 'gay pirate Muslim terrorist' theme. Did he clear that with the Fedayeen Bakers and DTA?" Then he broke into a fit of laughter that lasted several minutes.
When he got himself under control, he ordered another round of drinks. Then a frown came over his face, as he realized he was giving an interview to the news organization which had recently picked the Black Dogs to go 5-9 and finish last in the division.
"You know, man, we're gonna make you eat that prediction," he said. "No really. I'm gonna print it out and force it down your throat."
"You know, man, we're gonna make you eat that prediction," he said. "No really. I'm gonna print it out and force it down your throat."
Then he smiled what can only be described as a diabolical smile, and added, "I believe this interview is over. Is est super!"
