Wednesday, October 17, 2007

MCMAHON: ‘400 POINTS AIN’T IMPOSSIBLE’


Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon answers a question during his weekly press
conference, which is broadcast live on Sirius satellite radio.

MCMAHON: ‘400 POINTS AIN’T IMPOSSIBLE’

Dogs, ‘Bubbas in high-scoring, week seven match-up

By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press

Holding court Wednesday at the Cherry Bomb CafĂ© during his weekly media circus, East Nashville coach Jim McMahon opened by saying, “I was talking with [West Nashville coach Boyd X.] Biggs and he agreed that 400 points ain’t impossible this weekend.”

McMahon explained that he had spoken with the Beelzebubbas coach, who is in Pakistan fighting “the terrorists,” via the Cherry Bomb’s satellite phone several times this week. “We were mainly talking about the fact that this is the first match-up of the NFFA’s 200-Point Club,” the Black Dogs coach said of this weekend's game pitting East Nashville versus West. “You know the Black Dogs and Beelzebubbas are the only two franchises to score 200 or more points. The ‘Bubbas have the record with 233.5 points and after last weekend, the Black Dogs have scored more than 200 points five times.

“So, it stands to reason, between the two teams, we could score more than 400 points this weekend.”

When Joe Biddle of The Tennessean pointed out that the Alamo Scouts, the Atlanta Smack Daddies and the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs all scored 199 points last season, McMahon quickly responded. “Yeah, Biggs and I call them the One-Short Club, “ he said and laughed.

East Nashville’s 215 points last weekend against the slumping Cambridge Animals was the third highest total in NFFA history, equaling the team’s output against the Scouts in week three of the 2005 season. Since McMahon took over as coach in 2005, the Black Dogs have posted more than half of the league’s 15 highest point totals ever, scoring 190 or more points eight times.

When asked what he thought the Black Dogs chances were against the Beelzebubbas, McMahon said, “The ‘Bubbas scare me. Since Biggs went to Pakistan to change his team’s luck by killing terrorists, they’re on a two-game winning streak. I’m wondering if Biggs has got some kind of Highlander thing going on where the more terrorists he kills, the more powerful the Beelzebubbas become.“

Near the end of the press conference, McMahon changed subjects and asked the gathered media if they had seen the latest issue of Money magazine? Since it was a room full of sportswriters, no one had seen it except bartender Devlin Redd, who said he showed it to McMahon. “Well,” the coach said, “I just want to congratulate Mojo D on the fact that Money magazine has identified Midtown as one of the 35 best places to retire. I know he can relate. After the schoolin’ Bobber put on him last weekend — and that was with Peyton on the bench and Brady scoring 65 points — Mojo Gaye may be thinking about retirement himself.”

Then, as always, McMahon signaled the end of the press conference by leaving the stage, walking to the bar and ordering a Touchdown Taser™ for himself. For the third week in a row, the Black Dogs coach ordered two Touchdown Tasers™ — in keeping with his vow to drink one for himself and one for Biggs as long as the West Nashville coach remains in Pakistan. McMahon said it was one small way he could contribute to the war on terror.