CHERRY BOMB, HOHENWALD LAB BURNS!

The main laboratory at GQ Denney's Hohenwald farm burns early Tuesday.

CHERRY BOMB, HOHENWALD LAB BURNS!

By D. David Halberstam, BYG Times

In a bewildering development, popular nightspot Cherry Bomb Cafe and owner GQ Denney's main quarters at his Hohenwald, Tenn. farm have burned to the ground early Tuesday morning. Early reports indicate that Denney himself, and two NFFA players — Black Dogs WR Devin Hester and the suspended Marvin Harrison, may have perished in the Hohenwald blaze. The causes of the two fires are under investigation with ATF and FBI investigators both being called in.

Fear is mounting that the three missing men were in the Hohenwald building when it caught fire. Witnesses have placed the three together there around 4 a.m. Tuesday morning. They were also seen together at the Cherry Bomb Cafe as late as 11 p.m. Monday night. Denney is the beloved and notorious owner of the winless 12th Avenue Bakers franchise. The three men were in the company of new head coach Pacman Jones and a party of six unknown ladies at Denney's favorite table Monday night following the Bakers loss to the Midtown Mojo.

"I think those cats headed down to the country after I split," said Jones. "Then, damn!, I got a call on my cell phone from Snoop saying the club was on fire. He was crying and saying that GQ had been talkin' crazy that morning about sparkin' up a big one. But you know ... we damn sure didn't think he meant the Cherry Bomb. I don't know nothin' bout the farm. He said he'd take me down there soon and show me around but I'm not that crazy about farms and shit. I'm a city boy. And I heard he keeps — you know — dead people, zombie girls and things down there. Pac just says no!"

Snoop Dogg is the former Bakers head coach, who was relieved of his duties last week for medical reasons. Rumors have surfaced that Denney had shot him in the back, only to rush to his fallen coach's aid immediately.

"No comment on the gizzle man, for rizzle," said Snoop Dogg from his South Nashville home. "I'm just worried about him. He's been under a lot of pressure lately. I think he may have my wallet. I always worry when he goes down to that dizzam farm. Nothin good happens down there ... all those chemicals and shit. Nothin good."

The Bakers front office has postponed a scheduled press conference until more information is known. Furious George, longtime Denney friend and French cousin of deceased Bakers mascot Mr. TD is flying to Nashville from Paris tonight.

MCMAHON GRACIOUS IN VICTORY

Late Monday evening, Coach Jim McMahon returned to Fat Bubba
Dog's Gentlemen's Club, the scene of his arrest two nights earlier.


MCMAHON GRACIOUS IN VICTORY
Black Dogs coach returns to club after overtime win

By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press

ALAMO, TEXAS — In a gesture of good will following East Nashville's come-from-behind, overtime victory against the hometown Alamo Scouts, coach Jim McMahon returned late Monday evening to Fat Bubba Dog's Gentlemen's Club where he had been arrested 48 hours earlier and bought several rounds of drinks for everyone in the house, the AWP has learned.

According to Black Dogs cheerleader Bambi Chester (who spoke only on the condition that her name appear in this story), McMahon arrived at Fat Bubba Dog's a little before midnight with an entourage that included several undercover East Nashville police officers. Although his appearance caused a stir in the club initially, Chester said he soon put everyone at ease by announcing loudly, "I come in peace, and bearing a platinum card. Drinks for everyone on me."

McMahon and his party were at the club for approximately two hours and stayed mostly to themselves, although several Scouts fans approached their table to offer congratulations on the Black Dogs win, the cheerleader said.

Reached on his cell phone this morning prior to the team's flight back to East Nashville, McMahon confirmed Chester's account of his visit to Fat Bubba Dog's and also expressed concern for Thurman Murrman. "When I looked across the field at Thurman after Favre threw the touchdown bomb to rally us to victory in overtime, he looked physically ill. I'm afraid he's going to have a nervous breakdown or something. Poor guy, can you imagine going 0 and 9 against someone. Four [expletive] years of defeat. And that on top of the church burnings."

Murrman could not be reached for comment prior to publication of this story.