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| QCS isn't the only NFFA personality hanging with the POTUS. Obama loves the '85 Bears, including East Nashville coach Jim McMahon, shown with him above. |
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
HILLSBORO VILLAGE—In a rambling, quasi-coherent, impromptu press conference this morning prior to his team's game against the Village Green, East Nashville head coach guaranteed the world will not end on Dec. 21, as some say the Mayan calendar prophesied. He also predicted the Black Dogs would become the first team in NFFA history to win back-to-back championships.
"I'm the mother[expletive] Lord of the Rings," declared McMahon, who clinched his eighth-straight non-losing season with a win last weekend. "Three rings in seven years and planning to get a fourth this year. Book it."
When it was pointed out that the Atlanta Smack Daddies also have three championships, McMahon said, "Well, their first title was back in the league's second year, before Lex [Dominica] bought the team and before the league had a playoff format. So, I don't count that one. The Daddies have won two in the last seven years, just like the [Fidalgo Island] Sea Hogs.
"Last time I checked, the Daddies and Hogs are in our rearview mirror this season."
Then the coach abruptly shifted gears and gave a lengthy and surprisingly knowledgeable explanation of why the Maya did not predict the world would come to an end in December. "The Maya didn't suffer from ADD like all you clowns — they thought in terms of millennia, not milliseconds.
"What is going to happen on Dec. 21 is the current 5,000-year Long Count will come to an end, but the next Long Count will immediately begin," the coach explained. "Some New Age nut job stirred up all this nonsense back in the '90s — I think his name was Jose Guillen."
At that point, McMahon said he had to get ready for the game. Departing, he said, "Nos mos in manu Village Viridi angusta repulsam."
