Q SHAMAN CURSES THE ANIMALS QAnon supporters rally for Sharif in Sevier Park

One day before he stormed the U.S. Capitol, the Q Shaman led a rally in Nashville.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya

FSN Sports

 

The day before he helped would-be insurrectionists storm the US Capitol Building last week, a man known in conspiracist circles as the Q Shaman led a large rally in Nashville’s Sevier Park on behalf of Bakers owner Sir QCurl Sharif.

 

The crowd, estimated by police at 10,000 filled the park near Nashville’s Cherry Bomb Café and extended for several blocks along Avenue Q, as the stretch of Granny White Pike in the 12 South neighborhood was renamed a decade ago.

 

Standing in front of the so-called Satan Tree, long a gathering spot for Bakers fans, the buckskin-clad, buffalo headdress-wearing Q Shaman wielded a spear, began chanting in Ojibwa, then announced in English to the cheering crowd, “Today, we solemnly curse all enemies of our leader, QAnon, especially the Cambridge Animals and most especially Dave the Animal, who brings hate into this world and leads the human beings away from the right road.”

 

The shadowy group believes that a person close to the seat of government, known as QAnon will reveal secrets of corruption at high levels, including child slavery rings conducted by top officials, and forever break the power of the so-called Deep State. Since last year, when Sharif announced that he is QAnon, members of the group have flocked to him as their spiritual and political leader.

 

“They persecuted him and drove him to flee for his life to London,” said a woman at the rally who identified herself only as LuAnn. “He selflessly works for the people, so now the people have come to work for him.”

 

Others in the group said that the Animals and their leadership became targets for the Q Shaman after it was revealed that DTA had cursed the Bakers in 2012 over the presence of Tom Brady on their roster. Since that time, the Animals have won two NFFA titles while the Bakers have failed to achieve a single winning season.

“Shiva no longer protects the Bakers,” said LuAnn, who refused to disclose how she knew this information. “The people no longer believe; Shiva is dead to us. So we must bring other powers to bear.”

Sources close to the group said that the Q Shaman had originally planned to go from Washington to Cambridge, where he planned to stand outside Methlon Stadium and invoke additional curses on the Animals. Those plans were thwarted by the shaman’s arrest by federal authorities. He is being held incommunicado, but a source in the Bakers organization confirmed that a team official had interceded to ensure that the Q Shaman received his special diet of organic foods.

 

Neither Sharif nor Shiva could be reached for comment.

 

In other NFFA News:

 

FSN has learned that Eric G. Munchel, the so-called “Zip Tie Guy” who was arrested after being photographed during the invasion of the Capitol with a handful of zip ties, had worked as recently as December as a bartender at the Goodrow A Go Go in Nashville. The manager of the Hillsboro Village club, owned by Green owner Dave Goodrow, confirmed that Munchel had been fired after refusing to serve drinks to the team’s head coach, Stuart Smalley. After his arrest, Munchel admitted to FBI agents that his mother, who accompanied him to Washington and inside the Capitol, had been appalled when she visited the Goodrow A Go Go and urged her son to quit. “This place is just too gay for words,” she told him.

TRUMP PARDONS GOODROW Preemptive action halts porn investigation against Green owner

Goodrow and Trump in happier times at Bedminster.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya

FSN Sports

 

President Donald Trump has issued a full, preemptive pardon on behalf of Village Green owner Dave Goodrow, FSN has learned. The action came on Friday afternoon and was announced just before the platform permanently suspended Trump’s account.

 

“Even though he disloyally stole the GREAT football Team I built for him, I hereby pardon Dave Goodrow from any federal offense he may have committed,” Trump wrote. “This is in the best interest of my League.”

 

Although Goodrow currently faces no federal charges, Justice Department sources confirmed that federal prosecutors had been building a racketeering case against the troubled NFFA owner involving his prolific trafficking in pornography.

 

Goodrow also faces charges in Nashville for public indecency stemming from videos of him dancing nude as part of protests in Sylvan Park last summer against the initial refusal of the NFFA franchise then known as the Dead Cherokees to change their name. Through his attorney, Robin Banks, Goodrow maintains that he was merely taking part in a Native American dance ritual that is protected as a form of religious expression. Trump’s pardon will not affect the local charges.

 

Banks refused to confirm or deny persistent rumors that Goodrow holds the so-called “pee-pee tape,” which allegedly shows Trump paying prostitutes to urinate on a bed in a Moscow hotel, along with other incriminating information. She denied a published report that Goodrow had a deal to write a memoir of his time in football with Trump that was to be titled Orange and Green.

 

Goodrow could not be reached for comment.

 

In other NFFA News:

 

• The search for Dr. Jorgé Linardo continued this week. The league’s founder and Nobel Peace Prize nominee, who disappeared on December 25, was last seen inside the NFFA Tower an hour before the building was heavily damaged in the Christmas suicide bomb explosion. Nashville police say they have no leads at this time into Linardo’s whereabouts.

 

•  Dave the Animal, owner of the NFFA-champion Cambridge Animals, announced a plan Friday for next year’s Dead Lombardi Trophy winner to be decided through “trial by combat.” In a phone interview, DTA said, “It’s the simplest and fairest way, and also the way that virtually ensures a repeat championship by the Animals.” The Cambridge owner, who said he got the idea from watching a Rudy Giuliani speech while under house arrest ordered by his son Wilder, said he could unilaterally impose this new format by invoking what he described as a “little-known league rule known as Champion’s Choice.”