BLACK DOGS DEDICATE GAME TO FALLEN ICON Passing of Spy inspires team

Spy, 1999-2013

By R.E. Porter

Associated Web Press

In an inspired speech to the East Nashville players at the team breakfast this morning, head coach Jim McMahon exhorted the Black Dogs to "win one for Spy," the AWP has learned.

McMahon was referring to the beloved canine companion of team owner William D. Money who passed away on Friday. Spy was one of the original black dogs who inspired the team's name. He was 14 years old at the time of his death.

The Black Dogs' opponent this weekend is the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs, and according to a team official present at the breakfast, McMahon invoked the large victory over the Sea Hogs five years ago at The Dawg House in his address to the team. "When the Sea Hogs came to our house in 2008, there was a mauling," the head coach said. "And I know Spy would have wanted there to be a mauling again today — after all, he personally chewed on some Sea Hog butt that day five years ago." By the time the coach was done, the Black Dogs players were jumping around, chest-bumping and "barking."

It was on opening weekend five years ago when a "Bring Your Black Dog to the Game" promotion went horribly wrong, resulting in approximately 50 black dogs getting into the stands and mauling most of the Sea Hogs fans in attendance. It was speculated at the time that Money's own dogs were involved in the attack, and Money himself was captured on television laughing as the mauling took place. McMahon's speech seemed to confirm that the team owner's dogs were involved.

The team official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that Motor, the one surviving original black dog, would be on the sidelines during the game today to provide further inspiration. 

BUBBAS HIRE BELL Radio legend assumes play-by-play duties

Broadcasting legend Art Bell is the 'Bubbas' new play-by-play announcer.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya

FSN Sports

The West Nashville Beelzebubbas have announced the hiring of longtime radio host Art Bell as the new play-by-play announcer for broadcasts of the team’s games. Bell will also host a Bubbas-inflected Around the NFFA call-in show via the team’s new satellite radio network.

Bell became famous for hosting late-night radio call-in shows that became a mecca for fans interested in everything from extraterrestrial visitations to alleged government cover-ups of the Kennedy assassination. After an absence from the airwaves for several years, he recently returned to host his own program again on Sirius Satellite Radio.

“Nobody in the world of broadcasting is more attuned to the sensibilities of the NFFA and Beelzebubbas fans than Art Bell,” said team VP of Operations Chuck Barris in making the announcement at a news conference Friday afternoon. “When Dr. Linardo found out we had an opportunity to hire a living legend in radio, he got on the phone and made It happen in less than a day.”

Bell, who joined the press conference via satellite from his home at an undisclosed location in the Mojavé Desert, said he was excited to be part of the Bubbas’ organization. “The truth is out there,” Bell said. “I believe Dr. Linardo is dedicated to discovering it and finding a way to ingest it.”

According to terms of the agreement, Bell will deliver the play-by-play of Bubbas’ games from his California home, where he will see the action on the field via satellite. Barris will continue to provide color commentary from the pressbox at Colt 45 Stadium.

“I’m totally stoked,” Barris said. “This is going to be epic. As El Jefé was saying last night, we may have to create a special fan zone in the stadium that we call Area 51.”

FINALLY, GREEN JOIN 200-POINT CLUB Last NFFA franchise to gain membership

By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press

MIDTOWN NASHVEGAS—It took eight years, but with their dominating 209-137 victory over the 12th Avenue Bakers last weekend, The Village Green franchise finally joined the rest of the league in the no-longer-exclusive 200-Point Club. That, however, did not make the celebration any less jubilant for owner Dave Goodrow and his team. 

Goodrow celebrates 200 with a "friend."

"We're glad to finally break the 200-point mark," Goodrow said by cell phone last night from his popular Midtown nightclub, the Goodrow-A-Go-Go." And although we were the last franchise to do it, we plan to be the first franchise to do it on consecutive weekends." The Green are visiting the Cambridge Animals and are 77-point favorites at the Club Gitmo Sports Book.

Goodrow went on to say he had to explain to a number of his closest friends what the 200-Point Club is. "Apparently, they had heard from [Downtown Corsairs owner] Mojo D it was something gay."

Besides being the last to make it into the 200-Point Club, the franchise also holds the distinction of having 200 points scored on them the most times, six — five times when they were known as the Alamo Scouts, and once since moving to Midtown and becoming The Village Green. 

West Nashville, which holds the single game scoring record of 233.5 points, is the only franchise to have never had 200 points scored on them. "It ain't never gonna happen neither, baby," said Beelzebubbas head coach Jerry Glanville.

There have been 20 scores of 200 points or more in the history of the NFFA, all occurring after Commissioner William D. Money pioneered the league's definitive scoring philosophy of "a yard is a yard is a yard" in 2005. The East Nashville Black Dogs topped the 200 plateau twice in 2005 and once in 2006, then in 2007, the Beelzebubbas, Bakers, Midtown Mojo (now known as the Downtown Corairs) and Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs all achieved membership in the club. The Black Dogs also topped 200 again that season, and lead all franchises with seven scores of 200 or more points. The Sea Hogs are second with five.

The following is the complete list of 200-point scoring:

The 200-Point Club
1. West Nashville Beelzebubbas, 233.5 points (2007, week 2 vs. Atlanta Smack Daddies)
2. Cambridge Animals, 231.5 points (2008, week 10 vs. Midtown Mojo)
3. East Nashville Black Dogs, 231 points (2006, week 10 vs. Alamo Scouts)
4. 12th Avenue Bakers, 227 points (2007, week 9 vs. Alamo Scouts)
5. Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs, 220.5 (2010, week 4 vs. East Nashville Black Dogs)
6. Midtown Mojo, 218.5 points (2010, week 14 vs. Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs)
7. Midtown Mojo, 217.5 points (2007, week 7 vs. Alamo Scouts)
8. East Nashville Black Dogs, 215 points (2005, week 3 vs. Alamo Scouts)
— East Nashville Black Dogs, 215 points (2007, week 6 vs. Cambridge Animals)
10. Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs, 214.5 points (2007, week 12 vs. Alamo Scouts)

11. The Village Green, 209 points (2013, week 2 vs. 12th Avenue Bakers)

12. Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs, 208.5 points (2011, week 2 vs. 12th Avenue Bakers)
13. East Nashville Black Dogs, 207 points (2007, week 4 vs. Atlanta Smack Daddies)
 — East Nashville Black Dogs, 207 points (2011, week 15 vs. Corsairs)
15. East Nashville Black Dogs, 205 points (2009, week 5 vs. Animals)
— Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs, 205 points (2007, week 7 vs. Atlanta Smack Daddies)
17. Atlanta Smack Daddies, 204.5 points (2011, week 15 vs. The Village Green)
18. Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs, 204 points (2012, week 3 vs. Cambridge Animals)
19. East Nashville Black Dogs, 201 points (2005, week 6 vs. 12th Avenue Bakers)
20. 12th Avenue Bakers, 200 points (2011, week 2 vs. Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs)