By Soren Byrnen
Fantasy Sports Network
Pending the outcome of the Sea Hogs-Bakers slugfest, the Corsairs will own at least a share of the Linardo division lead for the first time in its history. With the team's first 2-0 start, GM Mojo D was uncharacteristically quiet and characteristically superstitious - his knuckles were bloody from knocking on wood throughout the team's media availability aboard the luxury stadium/resort/casino NFFA Corsair.
"We've never been here before and it's a little dislocating, but a few of these Corsair Van Goghs™* are helping." With that, the GM turned the event over to coach Cee-Lo Green and perky media relations intern Sue Nommi, who read a prepared statement:
"Beating the Black Dogs in their East Nasty house in week 2 was a rush, but we were especially happy to spank the Beelzebubbas in the wake of the Dr. Jorge Linardo fiasco. It appears that the ghost of Boyd X. Biggs sent one of Jorge's many doubles for the game-ball parachute delivery, season opener and christening of this marvelous vessel. Despite the disrespect from the Bubbas, Corsairs are focused on continuing to win, especially the game ahead against the juggernaut Bakers. "
Coach Cee-Lo Green opined that "we haven't reached our potential yet. I've made some line-up mistakes that I've heard about from the General (Lee-Yhn, Corsairs owner) and Mojo D, but that tells me we have the right talent - just gotta polish my crystal balls to see the future more clearly. Which reminds me, did the Money sisters get here yet?" The room erupted in laughter, the Corsair bar staff appeared, and the media event was over.
*Corsair Van Gogh recipe:
1.5 oz Corsair Pumpkin Spice Moonshine, 1 oz. Corsair Red Absinthe. Shake with ice, strain into highball glass. Drink quickly, stay away from open flame.
