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| There will be greatly increased security at The Dog House this weekend. |
By R.E. Porter
Associated Web Press
East Nashville president Cassandra “Cash” Money, daughter of team owner Bill Money, announced via press release Thursday afternoon that the team plans to have increased security at The Dog House this weekend for the game against the Ballers.
“We have decided to increase the number of armed security officers at this weekend’s game with the Ballers,” Money said in the release. “Normally, we have between 50 and 100 armed personnel on hand on game day, but there is nothing normal about hosting the Ballers, which we will do twice this season.
“We plan to have 500 armed officers present at the game, as well as 50 K-9 security dogs,” she continued. “German Shepherds — all black, of course.”
Money said the move was strictly precautionary. “We have no intel to suggest there will be trouble this weekend, but let’s face it, the Ballers have a nomadic fanbase that is essentially homeless, and therefore potentially dangerous,” the Black Dogs executive explained. “Let me be clear, we’re not indifferent to their regrettable plight. With that in mind, we will be hosting local homeless advocates and aid agencies available to help any Ballers fans who would like their help.”
Money didn’t mention Ballers mercurial owner Mojo D in her press release, but it wasn’t hard to read between the lines of her reference to the plight of the team’s fans. As the owner’s asylum at Club Gitmo stretches into a second year, whispers about his increasingly eccentric behavior have reached a proud, but concerned fanbase left to wonder where Mojo D will lead them next.
