NOSTRADAMUS PREDICTS MOJO UPSET OVER SEA HOGS !!!
By Bill O'Really, FAUX News
Fidalgo Island — There is no joy on Fidalgo Island this week as bad news abounds. Early this morning the University of Paris released a new quatrain from Nostradamus’ “Le Prophecies de Sporte” (“Sports Picks”). Entitled “The Playoffs,” Quatrain 615 is believed to predict a defeat for the Sea Hogs in this weekend’s semi-final matchup with the Midtown Mojo. The quatrain, which was written over 450 years ago, reads as follows:
Quatrain 615: The Playoffs
Bellicose takes revenge on Man-genius,
Letting Brady set records with the pass,
For the semi-finals of the playoffs in Week 15,
The Sea Hogs get handed their ass.
Experts say that “Bellicose” is a reference to Bill Belichick, the QB coach for the Mojo, who has a grudge against Sea Hogs assistant coach Eric Mangini, who is often referred to as “Man-genius” for his brilliant strategies. Earlier this season, Mangini accused Belichick of illegal spying, which resulted in Belichick being punished by the NFFA. Belichick has been known to run up the score on teams, especially those against whom he holds personal grudges. Brady, of course, is the star QB for the Mojo who has set records for TD passes this season.
More bad news for Fidalgo Island comes from the economic sector. Personal bankruptcies have climbed to an all-time high on the once wealthy island. The record number of bankruptcy filings is believed to be the result of massive gambling losses for island residents brought on by their devoted adherence to the sports predictions of Nostradamus, which, of late, have been frequently incorrect. Nostradamus predicted a victory for the Sea Hogs in each of the past two weeks, but was wrong on both counts.
When asked about Nostradamus’ Quatrain 615 and the upcoming playoff game with the Mojo, Sea Hogs owner and general manager Triki Bobber said, “With the track record that Nostradamus has lately, this most recent prediction does not bode well for the Mojo.” When asked how the Sea Hogs could possibly hope to overcome the sky-high numbers being put up by Brady, Bobber asked, “Has anyone checked the weather forecast lately?”
