MOJO FAITHFUL ROAD TRIP TO THE ATL
Stage 'World's Largest Tailgate' for Smack Daddies' victory
By Kimon Iwannalayya, Fantasy Sports Network
A 600-car, -truck, -Harley and -Bradley Fighting Vehicle caravan rolled out of Midtown at daybreak on Monday, heading for Atlanta and the final part of the Smack Daddies' surprise victory over the hated Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs. Leading the rolling thunder was the usually reclusive owner and coach of the Midtown Mojo, Mojo D.
"We are heading down south to support the Smack Daddies — even though we kicked their asses last week, I often quote the Bedouins in these cases: 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.' And I consider any chance to accelerate Triki Bobber's criminally insane meltdown as an open invitation for me to participate."
A key part of the caravan was a hickory-fired grill roughly the size of a tour bus, which was the centerpiece of what Mojo D called "the world's biggest tailgate party — we're gonna feed Atlanta!! Anybody who wants to come enjoy some homemade Sea Hogs sausage fresh off the grill is welcome! We've also got some Fidalgo Island gumbo and we're pouring Midtown Mojo Special Amber," which was served out of two pimped-out tankers that are "essentially rolling, 10,000-gallon kegs," according to Mojo GM Rosetta Stone.
Sources close to the Smack Daddies reported that the Mojo coach also showed up at their team lunch to inspire their divisional rivals. On condition of anonymity, the source said, "He brought the most gorgeous tray of sushi I've ever seen — the team loved it. He also went off on Triki Bobber - how he's a criminally insane nutjob and completely unworthy of the NFFA. He dissed Nostra-dumbass and got the boys fired up with an appearance by Mojo Jojo, who basically flung poo around the room, but the guys love that crazy monkey."
The Mojo caravan served over 60,000 Smack Daddies fans, who also pledged their playoff loyalty to the Mojo. Mojo D was clearly moved by his own largesse: "It's the least we could do for a team that is helping break down Triki Bobber — I used to hate Atlanta, but now I love rollin' wit my Dirty South homies!"
Predictably, the coach could not contain his pride at his own accomplishments: "I scored a 100 percent coaching efficiency this week, and wrapped the season with the top efficiency rating in the NFFA — I'm the only one over 90 for the year. It just goes to show how I took a fair-to-middlin' group of players and applied the wisdom of Jorge Linardo, who told me decades ago: 'Get you some horses and ride those bitches all season!' Here's to Jorge!!" And with that, the caravan rolled back up I-24 to prepare for their second Sea Hogs tilt in three weeks.
