against the hated Sea Hogs yesterday at Richland Park.
‘FOUR FAMILIES’ RALLY BEHIND 'BUBBAS
Nashville Teams Stand United Against ‘Hated Sea Hags’
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, Fantasy Sports News
At an unprecedented rally today at West Nashville’s Richland Park, representatives of the city's four NFFA teams announced their support for the West Nashville Beelzebubbas in this weekend’s championship game against the hated Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs.
Billed as a “unity summit,” officials from “the Four Families” — as the teams are sometimes informally described in Nashville — said they were seeking to rally East Nashville, Midtown and 12th Avenue fans around their city’s representative in the title shootout.
Though none of the team owners were present (Beelzebubbas owner Boyd X. Biggs was en route to Nashville from Pakistan, but addressed the crowd of 10,000 via satellite), the rally did feature Mo and Cash Money, daughters of NFFA Commissioner and Black Dogs owner William D. Money, who has not been seen in public in two months. GQ Denney confidante Furious George represented the Baker Nation, while Midtown mascot Mojo Jojo was there for the Mojo, who were upset by the Sea Hogs in one of last weekend’s semifinal games.
Jojo warmed up the crowd, who braved near-freezing temperatures, with an unplugged version of “Happiness Is a Warm Gun,” before launching into a furious tirade against the Sea Hogs — which he continually referred to as the “Sea Hags” — and their “criminally insane owner and Axis of Evil member, Kim Jong Il.” Shortly after Jojo’s remarks, which at times became almost incoherent fulminations, reporters noticed fans wearing “Beat the Sea Hags” T-shirts.
The Money sisters, reminding the crowd that they had been forced into sex slavery by Sea Hogs’ owner Triki Bobber, urged the Beelzebubbas and their fans to “take no prisoners” on Sunday. “Terminate with extreme prejudice,” Cash Money shouted as she left the stage, leading the crowd in a cheer of "Death to Triki Bobber."
For his part, Furious George calmly said that the Beelzebubbas “carried the hopes and dreams of all Nashvillians against the foreign enemy.” He also announced that he had begun a talent search for a new rock band, which will be called “The Hated Sea Hogs,” that will be the first act to play at the rebuilt Cherry Bomb Café when it reopens.
Biggs, speaking via a sometimes tenuous satellite hookup, was visibly moved by the show of support. “Even though Mojo D and I have exchanged occasional gunshots in the past, I love you all,” said Biggs. “I know that, if the situation were reversed, the Bubbas would be 100 percent behind our brothers the Black Dogs, the Bakers and the Mojo. We want to win for you the way Jorgé would have won, if you know what I mean” — a remark that drew thunderous cheers from the crowd — “and we aim to make Nashville proud this weekend.”
