conference when he produced a letter from Jorge Linardo. (AWP/FILE)
JORGE SPEAKS!
McMahon reveals Linardo letter blasting Mojo owner
By R. E. Porter, Associated Web Press
East Nashville Coach Jim McMahon may be known for bombast, but the bombshell he dropped this week was huge, even by his own 20-kiloton standards.
At his weekly press conference Tuesday morning at Foobar, McMahon distributed copies of a letter purported to be from Jorge Linardo, the former GM of the West Nashville Beelzebubbas and Nobel Peace Prize nominee, who vanished and was presumed dead after the Indonesian tsunami of 2004.
McMahon addressed the media following a brief statement from Black Dogs GM Buddy Ryan, who blamed his team’s 183-153 semifinals loss to the Beelzebubbas on “sinister forces” that affected the play of QB Tony Romo. "I'm pretty certain that Simpson bitch works for [Triki] Bobber," Ryan said. McMahon refused to answer any questions about that game, saying that he wanted “to focus 133%” on the upcoming third-place contest with the Midtown Mojo.
“And on that note,” McMahon added, “let me clarify a claim that our opponent has been making that he was the fair-haired son that old man Linardo never had.” Then he produced the Linardo letter, which, he said, dated from late 1990. The 5-page handwritten note, addressed to Beelzebubbas coach Boyd X. Biggs, included Linardo’s recollections about his sports media business and the early days of the NFFA.
The letter was heavily redacted with black marks — “because of homeland security concerns,” McMahon explained. But one paragraph on page two was highlighted in yellow. In it, Linardo describes Midtown owner Mojo D as a “young tag-along wannabe punk-ass bitch who reminds me of Vanilla Ice” and who had begged Linardo to allow him to serve as his apprentice. The letter went on to state that Linardo had disassociated himself from Mojo D, whom he described as “unstable” and “lacking a moral compass.”
McMahon said that Biggs had given him the letter for safekeeping before departing on his infamous “Taliban Safari” in Waziristan. McMahon had decided to make the letter’s contents public, he said, because “this [expetive] charade has gone on long enough. You know that little-kid villain in The Incredibles who turns evil and crazy because Mr. Incredible won’t let him be a superhero helper? That’s Mojo D.
“And, now, if you’ll excuse me,” McMahon said, ending the press conference abruptly, “I have a tray of morning margaritas to finish.”
Handwriting experts retained by AWP have already begun analyzing the letter for authenticity, but their report will not be ready until after New Year’s Day at the earliest. Beelzebubbas spokesman Wiley Peyote, however, said that the handwriting and signature appeared to be “authentically Jorge.”
“It’s like hearing our leader speak from the land beyond,” Peyote said.
However, Linardo’s surviving son, Pico “Skip” Linardo, noted that his father often changed his handwriting style “to confuse terrorists, including terrorists inside the US government.” The younger Linardo said he could not be certain that the writing was Jorge’s.
Boyd X. Biggs, who remained in Pakistan through the weekend as his team won under the direction of Interim Player/Coach Andre Johnson, was not immediately available for comment on this story.
