NOSTRADAMUS PREDICTS SEA HOGS VICTORY!!!
By Bill O'Really, FAUX News
Scholars at La Sorbonne (the University of Paris in Paris, France) have recently discovered a new book of quatrains believed to be authored by Michel De Nostradame, commonly known as Nostradamus, the 16th century seer known for his prophecies of major world events. Entitled "Le Prophecies de Sporte" (roughly translated, "Sports Predictions") the new book contains numerous 4-line poems thought to predict the outcome of future sporting events.
Nostradamus scholars and devotees from around the world, as well as bookmakers from Nashvegas, have descended on Paris in hopes of putting their own spin on the translations. The Chancellor of La Sorbonne, Pierre LePieu, expressed frustration with the clamoring throng, "These arrivistes are so annoying, especially those gamblers. They smell like merde."
One of the first quatrains to be translated is the cryptic Quatrain 220, which, according to the acedemics at La Sorbonne, reads:
"In the eighth week of the sixth season,
the Hogs of the Sea shall rout the Brothers of the Devil
and send them scurrying back
to the fiery depths from whence they come."
Nashvegas bookmakers believe Quatrain 220 refers to the upcoming NFFA Week 8 game between the Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs and the West Nashville Beelzebubbas. According to the odds-makers, Nostradamus has predicted that the Sea Hogs will defeat the Beelzebubbas in a rout. When news of the quatrain broke, the betting line for the game quickly moved 15 points.
Asked about the effect of the Nostradamus prediction on the players, Sea Hogs team captain Elvis Dumervil (DL) said, "It means a lot to us, and especially me. I've always been a Nostradamus fan. Nostradamus has always been important to football. After all, they named Notre Dame after him, didn't they?"
