MOJO D BREAKS SILENCE
By Kimon Iwannalayya, FANTASY SPORTS NETWORK
In a brief tirade broadcast over the Midtown Satellite Network, Midtown Mojo owner Mojo D lashed out at the NFFA, Commissioner Money and other coaches for their "outrageous disrespect of this once great game."
His outburst was spurred by the dissolution of the 200 Club. "For that Money bitch to call me an arriviste shows that her time on the Love Boat dulled not only her baggy coochie but her common-sense. I helped build this league in 1987, and some people seem to have forgotten that I knew Jorge, I worked with Jorge, I took his pure game to other lands, and that this group of paranoid megalomaniacs has shat upon his great legacy."
He continued his disjointed rant with "I even have some sympathy for [expletive] Triki Bobber, but as the Bedouins say 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend,' and that criminally insane SOB is definitely my friend and enemy." The rant escalated to threats when he warned: "those (expletive) Moneys better pray their bunker can withstand the blunt-force trauma of the Midtown rabble and a surgical strike from the Tin-Hat Brigade, because the people are ready to throw off the tyranny of the NFFA regime and return the game to its roots. Plus, Biggs is really pissing me off with his jingo posturing -- my own satellite imagery shows that his forces are pinned down in a valley in Bakazistan by heavily armed shepherds."
"I was looking forward to celebrating my entry to the 200 Club with a Touchdown Taser™ at the Cherry Bomb, but now I just want to burn the mother-[expletive] down — the only thing keeping us from doing it is that I believe GQ Denney could be the last guy in this league with a shred of honor. Instead, we'll just step up our incursions into Biggs' turf — while he's away, West Nashville is completely vulnerable, including his family, whose movements we are monitoring on an hourly basis ..."
Before he could continue, GM Rosetta Stone stepped in to cut him off, and the visibly distressed owner (see photo) was led off by a cadre of his trusted Tin-Hat Brigadiers.
