$12 MILLION MCMAHON
Black Dogs coach receives 20-year contract extension
By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press
How many Touchdown Tasers™ can you buy with $12 million? East Nashville head coach Jim McMahon now can find out if he wants, after the Black Dogs extended his contract yesterday.
At a press conference this morning at the team's headquarters on Riverside Drive, GM Buddy Ryan announced that the team has made McMahon the highest paid coach in professional football after extending his contract for an unprecedented 20 years. The new contract will pay the coach an average of $12 million annually.
"Since I turned the coaching reins over to Mac in 2005 season, we've scored more points than any other franchise," Ryan said. "The man's a [expletive] offensive genius, not to mention an offensive [expletive] genius, and we didn't want to let him get away." When asked if there was any truth to the rumor that GQ Denney was trying to lure McMahon to 12th Avenue, Ryan said, "Hell, GQ doesn't have to lure Mac to 12th Avenue, he's over there all the damn time, at the Cherry Bomb Café."
Reached on the practice field where he was preparing his team for their upcoming game with Fidalgo Island, McMahon said, "I want to thank Buddy for having faith in me and giving me a chance to lead the Black Dogs for 20 more seasons. Now, if you will excuse me, my team and I are discussing how many different ways you can barbecue a Sea Hog — we'll call it a Bobber-Q."
