underground command center after his alleged escape from Mojo D.
BLACK DOGS MASCOTS KIDNAPPED
Mojo D suspected; turf war feared
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, Fantasy Sports Network
In a development that threatens the fragile peace within the NFFA, two of the East Nashville Black Dogs’ mascots were apparently kidnapped Saturday night.
After a number of anxious hours at Black Dogs headquarters, the missing animals, Cerberus and Muerte, were rescued Sunday afternoon after team officials received an anonymous tip. The dogs, who also are pets of Black Dogs owner and NFFA Commissioner William D. Money, were found running through a Midtown neighborhood.
Someone had apparently used a stencil and white spray paint to mark each side of the dogs with the logo of the Midtown Mojo, the Black Dogs’ opponent on Sunday. The circumstantial evidence, sources say, led Money to conclude that Midtown owner Mojo D was behind the kidnapping. They also said that Money had brought the dogs to the commissioner’s underground command center beneath the NFFA Tower downtown.
Black Dogs coach Jim McMahon on Monday said that the Mojo “needed greetings from McMahonistan” — an apparent reference to a fertilizer bomb that left a 20-foot wide crater in 12th Avenue last year. When pressed further, McMahon, who had already consumed three Touchdown Tasers™ before beginning his weekly press conference, said, “Isn’t it obvious that this guy (Mojo D) is just a rookie wannabe? He’s like Tupac, trying to establish some street cred.
“One, the damn dogs got away. And, two, what’s he doing kidnapping dogs to begin with? Take a real criminal lunatic, like [Triki] Bobber. He kidnaps Money’s daughters as sex slaves. Maybe Mojo was going to make sex slaves out of the dogs before they escaped; I don’t know. But this looks more like a fraternity prank than something a real NFFA team would do. I’m not sure if the HoJo’s are ready for prime time.”
With that, McMahon abruptly ended the press conference and grabbed two Touchdown Tasers™ from the bar, saying he “had to go upstairs and offer some advice to GQ [Denney]. He’s been talking all night to Lombardi and Hendrix and Mr. TD. I want to give them a break.”
