during a video conference call today.
MOJO ROLL NEW LOGO, SACK JOJO
By Kimon Iwannalayya, Fantasy Sports Network
In a video conference call today, the Midtown Mojo announced that they have fired Mojo Jojo, their evil-genius, monkey mascot, and in the same conference call, introduced the team's new logo, based on a Mexican wrestling mask.
The monkey's departure was no surprise to Planet Mojo insiders, who said the primate's recent behavior was deplorable even by the Caligula-worthy standards of the NFFA. Aside from his typical tequila-and-Oxycontin-fueled escapades, the simian evil genius had recently appeared in a number of anime porn videos with fellow washed-up cartoon characters.
The final straws were a poo-flinging performance at a team dinner, which was followed by a mano-a-mano battle with the team's mysterious Pompatus of Love, Miss Lee-Yhn. The Pompatus rapidly dispatched Jojo with a "grand suplex," a move she allegedly learned from new Mojo coach COJones for just such an occasion. Owner Mojo D said only "Jojo is a sad case of a primate who can't hold his Oxy. He's gone from a humorous distraction to a liability, and the trademark-infringement suit from Time Warner sealed his fate.
"But we're moving on!," Mojo D proclaimed. "And we're pleased to introduce our new logo, which is directly inspired by our new coach and new attitude. And of course, the official Mojo Mask will be available everywhere fine NFFA merchandise is sold."
The monkey's departure was no surprise to Planet Mojo insiders, who said the primate's recent behavior was deplorable even by the Caligula-worthy standards of the NFFA. Aside from his typical tequila-and-Oxycontin-fueled escapades, the simian evil genius had recently appeared in a number of anime porn videos with fellow washed-up cartoon characters.
The final straws were a poo-flinging performance at a team dinner, which was followed by a mano-a-mano battle with the team's mysterious Pompatus of Love, Miss Lee-Yhn. The Pompatus rapidly dispatched Jojo with a "grand suplex," a move she allegedly learned from new Mojo coach COJones for just such an occasion. Owner Mojo D said only "Jojo is a sad case of a primate who can't hold his Oxy. He's gone from a humorous distraction to a liability, and the trademark-infringement suit from Time Warner sealed his fate.
"But we're moving on!," Mojo D proclaimed. "And we're pleased to introduce our new logo, which is directly inspired by our new coach and new attitude. And of course, the official Mojo Mask will be available everywhere fine NFFA merchandise is sold."
