SIR QCURL! Swinging London celebrates Sharif’s knighthood

Sir QCurl Sharif shows off the medal he is allowed to wear as a Knight Commander of the
Most Excellent Order of the British Empire.

By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya

FSN Sports

In a ceremony filled with pomp, QCurl Sharif on Saturday became the first NFFA owner to receive a knighthood from the British crown, setting off a weekend of celebrations in London and beyond.

The accolade, as the ceremony is known, officially made Sharif a Knight Commander in the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. The honor was bestowed by Prince Harry, Duke of Cambridge, acting in place of Queen Elizabeth.

According to English custom, non-citizens can receive only an honorary knighthood. However, as part of the agreement to bring his team to London, Parliament granted UK citizenship to Sharif in 2016 (he remains a naturalized citizen of the United States).

Sharif’s knighthood came on the heels of the much-anticipated accolade for Sir Ringo Starr. The relative lack of advance publicity for Sharif’s ceremony created speculation that international politics played a role in the timing.

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace rebutted that theory, saying that a knighthood for Sharif had “been under consideration for many months.” The comparative lack of fanfare, he said, “was requested by Sir QCurl himself, owing to his natural modesty.”

Nevertheless, some analysts drew a connection between the timing and the British government’s antagonisms with Russia. Sharif’s well publicized disputes with Vladimir Putin — including his involvement against Russian mercenaries in Ukraine — created inevitable speculation that the British crown was sending a message in the wake of the government’s accusation that Russia poisoned a defector and his daughter.

Adding to the intrigue, sources in the U.S. intelligence community have confirmed to FSN Sports that they had received proof from their British counterparts in MI-6 that Putin’s government was behind the sudden and mysterious death of Bakers’ superfan Powers Boothe at the Cherry Bomb Café last year.

“Knights pledge to defend the poor and to fight for what is right and good,” said former Vice President Joe Biden, who traveled to London for the ceremony. “Sir QCurl is a knight in the truest traditions of chivalry. I was proud to speak at his funeral, and I am proud to stand with him now.”

In keeping with an ancient custom, said the spokesman for Buckingham Palace, “Sir QCurl spent the night before his accolade dressed in a white gown, devoting himself to prayer and medication, er, meditation.”

After the ceremony concluded, church bells pealed across central London. Because Sharif’s club, the One-Eyed Pig, was not large enough to handle the anticipated crowd of revelers, the British government made Westminster Hall available for a celebration honoring Sharif and Starr.

Adjoining the Houses of Parliament, Westminster Hall was constructed in 1099 by William Rufus, son of William the Conqueror. Over the centuries it has witnessed events from royal banquets to the trial of Thomas More to the presentation of the French king, taken prisoner at the Battle of Poitiers in 1357.

The normally loquacious Sharif appeared humbled by his knighthood and the general outpouring of support. When it was his turn to speak at the banquet, he rose and simply quoted his friend Sir Ringo:

“It don’t come easy. You know it don’t come easy. Open up your heart, let’s come together. Use a little love, and we can make it work out better.”