order after Mojo Jojo tossed two players out of the team plane.
MOJO TOSSES PLAYERS OFF PLANE AFTER LOSS TO BEELZEBUBBAS
By Kimon Iwannalayya, Fantasy Sports Network
MIDTOWN -- Reports have surfaced from inside Planet Mojo that indicate the team’s two-game losing skid is accelerating owner Mojo D’s descent into madness. Sources close to the team told FSN on condition of anonymity that the reclusive owner boarded his team’s charter jet after last week’s loss to the West Nashville Beelzebubbas, much to the surprise of the team, most of whom have never seen him in person.
After grabbing a bottle of Patron, he headed to the back of the plane, where he huddled with GM Rosetta Stone and loudly moaned about his team’s performance. About midway through the flight, Mojo D stormed up to the cockpit, and the plane made a rapid descent and went into a circular holding pattern.
The outraged owner then called newly acquired TE Vernon Davis and veteran RB Jamal Lewis to the bulkhead. Both players notched zero points in the game with the Mojo’s West Nashville nemesis, and Mojo D continued to berate the players on their nil effort. Suddenly the Mojo’s missing mascot, Mojo Jojo, appeared from the overhead bins brandishing a parachute. The manic simian then popped open the cabin door and shoved the two players out the door with the one parachute, saying “good luck, losers – whoever lives, starts! HAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Without another word, the owner and mascot returned to their Patron. The horrified players were silent after the pressure returned to the cabin and for the rest of the flight. One reported that he received a call from Lewis, who won the battle for the parachute and called his teammate on the way down, saying “man, if Mojo D wasn’t one of my Vol homies, I’d kick his ass – but you come to expect that kind of sh*t when you’ve played in Knoxville.”
Predictably, Mojo D was not available for comment, but Stone reports that Davis is resting comfortably and that Lewis, despite Jojo’s assurance, will not start this week. She added that Mojo Jojo will be returning to treatment after the season is over but that “for now, Mojo D feels like having an evil super-genius monkey will help the team when they face the criminally insane Triki Bobber’s Sea Hogs in week 13.”
