THE BOBBER FILES, PART III
‘La Migra’ vigilante finds self at wrong end of Meemaw Murrman’s iron skillet
By Ariel Mutha-Tafoya, Fantasy Sports News
Under “enhanced interrogation” by federal authorities, suspended Sea Hogs owner Triki Bobber continued to spill his strange story last week.
Through exclusive interviews with FBI special agents Clarice Starling and Fux Mildew, this reporter learned that, after fleeing the polygamist compound in Colorado City, Ariz., Bobber ventured briefly to the Fundamentalist Mormons’ sister complex in Eldorado, Texas. Then, sensing that it might be too dangerous for him to remain there as federal authorities stepped up their search, the polygamist leader known as Bobham Young disappeared again.
As the FBI later confirmed, Bobber resurfaced near Alamo, Texas, along the Mexican border. There, as “Bob America,” he became a leader in an armed vigilante group that patrolled the border searching for illegal aliens and drug smugglers.
Over a period of several months, Bobber worked and lived with this group — until the morning he walked inside Fat Bubba Dog’s Sunny Side Up, a popular diner open only for breakfast and lunch. Unbeknownst to Bobber, the restaurant — which sits across a parking lot from Fat Bubba Dog’s Gentlemen’s Club — is operated by Eudora “Meemaw” Murrman, grandmother of Alamo Scouts owner Thurman Murrman.
On the fateful morning in question, three Hispanic men that Meemaw Murrman later described as longtime customers were eating breakfast when Bobber and several other “Minutemen” walked into Fat Bubba Dog’s and began verbally harassing them.
At that point, according to one witness who spoke with the FBI, Murrman told the Minutemen to “put a lid on it before I have to get Western with you.” When Bobber continued to taunt the Hispanic men with threats of deportation, Murrman emerged from the kitchen with a cast-iron skillet and began savagely beating Bobber over the head with it while other restaurant patrons restrained his companions. “I wouldn’t even beat my rug that hard,” said the witness. “She kept hollering, ‘Deport THIS, you puto!”
Even after Bobber was knocked unconscious, the witnesses said, Murrman continued to beat him about the head until other customers calmed her down and allowed the other cowered Minuteman to carry him out of the restaurant. “Come here again and you’ll wind up as a grease fire in the parking lot!” Murrman shouted after him.
The Minutemen took Bobber to a hospital in McAllen, where he spent nearly a week recuperating from his wounds. After his release, Bobber left the area, heading back to the Pacific Northwest, where he assumed the identity of a left-wing ecoterrorist.
In an exclusive interview this week with FSN, Murrman said she did not realize that the man she beat was actually Triki Bobber. “I could just spit,” Ms. Murrman said. “I knew I should’ve shot the little pissant when I had the chance.”
Through exclusive interviews with FBI special agents Clarice Starling and Fux Mildew, this reporter learned that, after fleeing the polygamist compound in Colorado City, Ariz., Bobber ventured briefly to the Fundamentalist Mormons’ sister complex in Eldorado, Texas. Then, sensing that it might be too dangerous for him to remain there as federal authorities stepped up their search, the polygamist leader known as Bobham Young disappeared again.
As the FBI later confirmed, Bobber resurfaced near Alamo, Texas, along the Mexican border. There, as “Bob America,” he became a leader in an armed vigilante group that patrolled the border searching for illegal aliens and drug smugglers.
Over a period of several months, Bobber worked and lived with this group — until the morning he walked inside Fat Bubba Dog’s Sunny Side Up, a popular diner open only for breakfast and lunch. Unbeknownst to Bobber, the restaurant — which sits across a parking lot from Fat Bubba Dog’s Gentlemen’s Club — is operated by Eudora “Meemaw” Murrman, grandmother of Alamo Scouts owner Thurman Murrman.
On the fateful morning in question, three Hispanic men that Meemaw Murrman later described as longtime customers were eating breakfast when Bobber and several other “Minutemen” walked into Fat Bubba Dog’s and began verbally harassing them.
At that point, according to one witness who spoke with the FBI, Murrman told the Minutemen to “put a lid on it before I have to get Western with you.” When Bobber continued to taunt the Hispanic men with threats of deportation, Murrman emerged from the kitchen with a cast-iron skillet and began savagely beating Bobber over the head with it while other restaurant patrons restrained his companions. “I wouldn’t even beat my rug that hard,” said the witness. “She kept hollering, ‘Deport THIS, you puto!”
Even after Bobber was knocked unconscious, the witnesses said, Murrman continued to beat him about the head until other customers calmed her down and allowed the other cowered Minuteman to carry him out of the restaurant. “Come here again and you’ll wind up as a grease fire in the parking lot!” Murrman shouted after him.
The Minutemen took Bobber to a hospital in McAllen, where he spent nearly a week recuperating from his wounds. After his release, Bobber left the area, heading back to the Pacific Northwest, where he assumed the identity of a left-wing ecoterrorist.
In an exclusive interview this week with FSN, Murrman said she did not realize that the man she beat was actually Triki Bobber. “I could just spit,” Ms. Murrman said. “I knew I should’ve shot the little pissant when I had the chance.”
