By Soren Bernyn
FSPN
At a celebratory cocktail party Sunday evening at an undisclosed location, Ballers Co-Owner Mojo-D toasted his team's season-high score and playoff-clinching victory over the Village Green in the final week of the 2025 regular season: "Winning is a hell of a drug, y'all! But combine it with other drugs, and that's the Way of the Baller!"
Asked later if he was high, Mojo D threw back his head and laughed silently. He peered over his glasses and said "I learned a long time ago from Dr. Jorge Linardo through William D. Money that "you never let them see you straight." He turned and proceeded to the bar...
The Ballers' victory capped a rollercoaster regular season that saw them win 4 of their first five, then drop six straight. The team is now riding a four-game winning streak. "Yeah, these badass anti-heroes are built for the f*ckin' playoffs!" Ballers co-owner Taylor Swift said via Facetime during the brief media availability. "It also helps that 3 opponents were down bad with key offensive injuries early and that Stuart Smalley has been in a lavender haze and unable to find his ass with both hands this season, despite a loaded roster. But I don't want to ruin the friendship either: we love you, Goodrow!"
Before he opened the bar, Mojo-D added, "I've gotta shout out our QB Brock Purdy - total pro, total clutch, no ego. He was our 2022 Championship MVP when he stepped in at the last second, just as he did this weekend. He has throwback grit and a brain wired for the modern game and inspired tonight's signature cocktail: the Purdy Good Old Fashioned. Cheers, everybody: Salúd!" The media availability was over but the party was just getting started.
The NFFA will release the official bracket Tuesday but it appears the Ballers will host the (probably 9-6) Bakers and the 'Bubbas will travel to the (probably) 13-2 Cambridge Animals in the first round since the Ballers have a 2-1 edge over the Beelzebubbas during the regular season. "For the record, I'm still in favor of the symmetrical, 14-game season," Mojo-D offered, unprompted. "But I guess that bullshit Week 14 game worked for us this time."
The Ballers have gone 4-3 in their seven NFFA Championship games since 2012 and have set their sights, well, high. "I mean, nobody gets into the playoffs with the idea that anything less than a Championship ring is good enough," Mojo D said during a smoke break in the cold Nashville air. "We have more playoff experience than any team in the league and we will exploit it over the next two weeks to get our 5th Championship!" With that, he turned to his right, flipped a switch and illuminated an enormous mural across the street from the speakeasy that read "ONE FOR THE THUMB - BALLERS 2025."
