DAVE THE ANIMAL TAKES SELF-LOVE TO A NEW LEVEL

The new Cambridge Animals logo features the likeness of owner Dave the Animal.

DAVE THE ANIMAL TAKES SELF-LOVE TO A NEW LEVEL

By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press

Not to be outdone by the Midtown Mojo, the Cambridge Animals have announced they are introducing their own new logo, and in the process, have trumped the Mojo, and even the Cleveland Browns, when it comes to self-love.

Like the Browns, who were named after team owner Paul Brown by Brown himself, the Animals were named after owner Dave the Animal, by the Animal himself. Then after buying the Franktown Silverbacks franchise prior to the 2007 season and moving it to Midtown, owner Mojo D followed the lead of those two franchises and renamed the team the Mojos after himself.

Now Dave the Animal has gone the Browns and the Mojos one better — he has made his own likeness the team's new logo.

Undoubtedly, some will call the move egomaniacal, but Dave the Animal said unabashedly, "I love it." The Animals will be sporting the new logo on their uniforms and helmets during the 2008 season. Animals merch sporting the new logo soon will be available in the NFFA Shop.

MOJO ROLL NEW LOGO, SACK JOJO

The Midtown Mojo introduced their new logo
during a video conference call today.


MOJO ROLL NEW LOGO, SACK JOJO

By Kimon Iwannalayya, Fantasy Sports Network

In a video conference call today, the Midtown Mojo announced that they have fired Mojo Jojo, their evil-genius, monkey mascot, and in the same conference call, introduced the team's new logo, based on a Mexican wrestling mask.

The monkey's departure was no surprise to Planet Mojo insiders, who said the primate's recent behavior was deplorable even by the Caligula-worthy standards of the NFFA. Aside from his typical tequila-and-Oxycontin-fueled escapades, the simian evil genius had recently appeared in a number of anime porn videos with fellow washed-up cartoon characters.

The final straws were a poo-flinging performance at a team dinner, which was followed by a mano-a-mano battle with the team's mysterious Pompatus of Love, Miss Lee-Yhn. The Pompatus rapidly dispatched Jojo with a "grand suplex," a move she allegedly learned from new Mojo coach COJones for just such an occasion. Owner Mojo D said only "Jojo is a sad case of a primate who can't hold his Oxy. He's gone from a humorous distraction to a liability, and the trademark-infringement suit from Time Warner sealed his fate.

"But we're moving on!," Mojo D proclaimed. "And we're pleased to introduce our new logo, which is directly inspired by our new coach and new attitude. And of course, the official Mojo Mask will be available everywhere fine NFFA merchandise is sold."