is the AWP's "Rookie of the Year."
FINAL GRADES AND ACCOLADES
By R.E. Porter, Associated Web Press
With championship weekend upon us, it is time for the AWP's final regular-season report cards and season-ending accolades.
First, final grades for the 2008 regular season:
• East Nashville Black Dogs (14-0), A+
Perfection speaks for itself. The Dogs recorded the first undefeated regular season in league history and ran their NFFA record for consecutive, regular-season wins to 21 games.
• West Nashville Beelzebubbas (9-5), B+
One of the preseason favorites, the 'Bubbas did not disappoint, in spite of the poor coaching efficiency of Boyd X. Biggs, who contends, "Coaching is all about having talent on the gridiron and unleashing hell."
• 12th Avenue Bakers (8-6), B
No one was talking about the Bakers after the draft, but they rode the league's top quarterback and a high-scoring defense to the first playoff berth in franchise history.
• Atlanta Smack Daddies (7-7), B-
Another of the preseason favorites, and although they won their first division title, the Daddies underperformed.
• Alamo Scouts (5-9), C+
The Scouts were not being discussed as title contenders following the draft. And although they didn't make a return to the playoffs, they finished the season on an upswing, winning three of their final four games, contending for the division title until the final weekend, and finishing as the only team with a winning record within their division.
• Cambridge Animals (5-9), C
Another of the preseason favorites and another team that underperformed. Critical coaching mistakes down the stretch cost the Animals a 7-7 record and a possible trip to the playoffs.
• Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs (5-9), C-
The defending title holders already were facing the infamous "curse of the champion," but thanks to the lowest coaching efficiency in the regular season, the Sea Hogs fell short of a fourth consecutive division crown and missed the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.
• Midtown Mojo (3-11), C-
A season of hope was dashed minutes into the first game of 2008 when the Mojo's all-world quarterback Tom Brady suffered a season-ending injury. A complete nervous breakdown by owner Mojo D. followed, leaving the Midtown ship essentially rudderless, despite valiant efforts by the team's Pompatus of Love. In spite of it all, the Mojo finished with a 3-3 record within their division.
And the 2008 accolades:
• The "Mostest with the Leastest" award goes to QCurl Sharif. His name was not the only thing that changed over on 12th Avenue.
• The "Leastest with the Mostest" award goes to Dave the Animal. After the draft, pundits were talking about Cambridge as one of the teams to beat. As it turned out, that is exactly what the four teams in the championship bracket did, going 7-1 against the Animals and handing the self-proclaimed, coaching genius all but two of his losses.
• The "Triki Bobber Waiver-Wire Whirlwind" award goes to Lex Dominica, who out-Bobbered Bobber, with a double-digit lead in number of transactions over the former king of waiver-wire hyperactivity, working the wire a total of 84 times during the 14-week regular season.
• The "Rookie of the Year" award goes to MeeMaw Murrman, grandmother of Alamo Scouts owner Thurman Murrman and team matriarch — and I think everyone knows why: the skillet.
• The "Coaches of the Year" award goes to the Midtown Mojo for the most coaching changes ever in a single season — seven and counting.
• The winner of the "Make Up Your Damn Mind" award is Tarik Obobber. Obobber may have lost his waiver-wire crown but he still is the lineup king, posting 113 different starting lineups during the 14-week regular season.
• The winner of the "Best Game Day Promotion Gone Bad" award goes to East Nashville GM Buddy Ryan for his opening day "Bring Your Dog to the Game" promotion, which resulted in the vicious mauling of all 100 Fidalgo Island fans in attendance.
• The "Outstanding Community Service Award" goes to West Nashville's Jorge Linardo for opening not one, but two nightclubs to fill the gap left when the Cherry Bomb Cafe burned down.
• The "No. 1 Super Fan" award goes to 12th Avenue booster club president Bill Cheatham for his defense of the team against sportswriter Larry Woody, who he has had pinned down on a 12 South billboard with steady gunfire for more than a month.
• The "Horizon award for violence and music" goes to Memphis-based rap outfit, Dr. Krunkenstein for their performance at the Bacchanalia and their links to the attempted assassinated on Commissioner William D. Money.
• The "New Hotness" award goes to Miss Lee-Yhn, the Midtown Mojo's Pompatus of Love for her "contributions" to the NFFA in 2008.
• The "Buddy, Can You Spare a Win" award goes to the division formerly known as Linardo, which didn't have a single team with a winning record and whose four teams were a collective 20-36.
First, final grades for the 2008 regular season:
• East Nashville Black Dogs (14-0), A+
Perfection speaks for itself. The Dogs recorded the first undefeated regular season in league history and ran their NFFA record for consecutive, regular-season wins to 21 games.
• West Nashville Beelzebubbas (9-5), B+
One of the preseason favorites, the 'Bubbas did not disappoint, in spite of the poor coaching efficiency of Boyd X. Biggs, who contends, "Coaching is all about having talent on the gridiron and unleashing hell."
• 12th Avenue Bakers (8-6), B
No one was talking about the Bakers after the draft, but they rode the league's top quarterback and a high-scoring defense to the first playoff berth in franchise history.
• Atlanta Smack Daddies (7-7), B-
Another of the preseason favorites, and although they won their first division title, the Daddies underperformed.
• Alamo Scouts (5-9), C+
The Scouts were not being discussed as title contenders following the draft. And although they didn't make a return to the playoffs, they finished the season on an upswing, winning three of their final four games, contending for the division title until the final weekend, and finishing as the only team with a winning record within their division.
• Cambridge Animals (5-9), C
Another of the preseason favorites and another team that underperformed. Critical coaching mistakes down the stretch cost the Animals a 7-7 record and a possible trip to the playoffs.
• Fidalgo Island Sea Hogs (5-9), C-
The defending title holders already were facing the infamous "curse of the champion," but thanks to the lowest coaching efficiency in the regular season, the Sea Hogs fell short of a fourth consecutive division crown and missed the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.
• Midtown Mojo (3-11), C-
A season of hope was dashed minutes into the first game of 2008 when the Mojo's all-world quarterback Tom Brady suffered a season-ending injury. A complete nervous breakdown by owner Mojo D. followed, leaving the Midtown ship essentially rudderless, despite valiant efforts by the team's Pompatus of Love. In spite of it all, the Mojo finished with a 3-3 record within their division.
And the 2008 accolades:
• The "Mostest with the Leastest" award goes to QCurl Sharif. His name was not the only thing that changed over on 12th Avenue.
• The "Leastest with the Mostest" award goes to Dave the Animal. After the draft, pundits were talking about Cambridge as one of the teams to beat. As it turned out, that is exactly what the four teams in the championship bracket did, going 7-1 against the Animals and handing the self-proclaimed, coaching genius all but two of his losses.
• The "Triki Bobber Waiver-Wire Whirlwind" award goes to Lex Dominica, who out-Bobbered Bobber, with a double-digit lead in number of transactions over the former king of waiver-wire hyperactivity, working the wire a total of 84 times during the 14-week regular season.
• The "Rookie of the Year" award goes to MeeMaw Murrman, grandmother of Alamo Scouts owner Thurman Murrman and team matriarch — and I think everyone knows why: the skillet.
• The "Coaches of the Year" award goes to the Midtown Mojo for the most coaching changes ever in a single season — seven and counting.
• The winner of the "Make Up Your Damn Mind" award is Tarik Obobber. Obobber may have lost his waiver-wire crown but he still is the lineup king, posting 113 different starting lineups during the 14-week regular season.
• The winner of the "Best Game Day Promotion Gone Bad" award goes to East Nashville GM Buddy Ryan for his opening day "Bring Your Dog to the Game" promotion, which resulted in the vicious mauling of all 100 Fidalgo Island fans in attendance.
• The "Outstanding Community Service Award" goes to West Nashville's Jorge Linardo for opening not one, but two nightclubs to fill the gap left when the Cherry Bomb Cafe burned down.
• The "No. 1 Super Fan" award goes to 12th Avenue booster club president Bill Cheatham for his defense of the team against sportswriter Larry Woody, who he has had pinned down on a 12 South billboard with steady gunfire for more than a month.
• The "Horizon award for violence and music" goes to Memphis-based rap outfit, Dr. Krunkenstein for their performance at the Bacchanalia and their links to the attempted assassinated on Commissioner William D. Money.
• The "New Hotness" award goes to Miss Lee-Yhn, the Midtown Mojo's Pompatus of Love for her "contributions" to the NFFA in 2008.
• The "Buddy, Can You Spare a Win" award goes to the division formerly known as Linardo, which didn't have a single team with a winning record and whose four teams were a collective 20-36.
