skillet sculpture which now stands outside The Alamo.
OUT OF THE FIRE, INTO THE FRYING PAN
Scouts fans ready to greet Smack Daddies with noise and cooking Utensils
By Lenny Lopez, Fantasy Sports News
In a move that is creating controversy in some quarters of the NFFA, fans of the Alamo Scouts will be allowed to bring iron skillets inside their stadium, The Alamo, for this weekend’s game against the family rival Atlanta Smack Daddies.
In recent weeks, skillets have become the unofficial symbol of the Scouts following the well-publicized use of one such cast-iron cooking utensil by team matriach Eudora "MeeMaw" Murmann to subdue what she described as “varmints.”
Since then, Scouts fans have shown up outside The Alamo brandishing skillets over their heads. Some have also brought large metal serving spoons and used them to beat their skillets like drums.
For this week’s game — pitting owner Thurmann Murmann against his uncle, Lex Dominica, who is Meemaw's son — the Scouts announced that fans for the first time would be encouraged to bring skillets and spoons inside the stadium to create a cacophony when the Smack Daddies have the ball.
However, some observers have suggested that the new policy violates the NFFA’s ban against weapons inside league venues. “Considering that the skillet became a symbol for the team only after MeeMaw Murmann used it in an act of violence, however righteous that act may have been, I think this is a clear violation of league rules,” said Professor Irwin “Swifty” Lazar of the University of Texas Law School and a recognized expert in sports law.
Reached for comment in his bunker office below the NFFA Tower in Nashvegas, Commissioner William D. Money said that he had personally approved the skillets. “If you can say a skillet is a weapon,” Money said, “then you could say that having my black dogs inside the stadium is a weapon, and no sane person would ever say that. Besides, I didn’t realize we had a ban on weapons. You couldn’t enforce one in Texas in any event. I know for a fact that MeeMurr has a conceal and carry permit.”
In Murmann Plaza outside The Alamo, the Scouts have erected a giant skillet statue, which has quickly become a magnet for fans wishing to snap souvenir photos. Meanwhile, in preparation for this Sunday’s game, the team’s marketing department has prepared two videos to be shown on the stadium JumboTron featuring Duane “The Rock” Johnson. In one, Johnson beats a skillet with a spoon and announces ominously, “Hey Smack Daddies, it’s dinnertime. Come and get your whuppin.’” In the other, Johnson brandishes a skillet and asks, “Can you smell what MeeMurr is cookin?”
In recent weeks, skillets have become the unofficial symbol of the Scouts following the well-publicized use of one such cast-iron cooking utensil by team matriach Eudora "MeeMaw" Murmann to subdue what she described as “varmints.”
Since then, Scouts fans have shown up outside The Alamo brandishing skillets over their heads. Some have also brought large metal serving spoons and used them to beat their skillets like drums.
For this week’s game — pitting owner Thurmann Murmann against his uncle, Lex Dominica, who is Meemaw's son — the Scouts announced that fans for the first time would be encouraged to bring skillets and spoons inside the stadium to create a cacophony when the Smack Daddies have the ball.
However, some observers have suggested that the new policy violates the NFFA’s ban against weapons inside league venues. “Considering that the skillet became a symbol for the team only after MeeMaw Murmann used it in an act of violence, however righteous that act may have been, I think this is a clear violation of league rules,” said Professor Irwin “Swifty” Lazar of the University of Texas Law School and a recognized expert in sports law.
Reached for comment in his bunker office below the NFFA Tower in Nashvegas, Commissioner William D. Money said that he had personally approved the skillets. “If you can say a skillet is a weapon,” Money said, “then you could say that having my black dogs inside the stadium is a weapon, and no sane person would ever say that. Besides, I didn’t realize we had a ban on weapons. You couldn’t enforce one in Texas in any event. I know for a fact that MeeMurr has a conceal and carry permit.”
In Murmann Plaza outside The Alamo, the Scouts have erected a giant skillet statue, which has quickly become a magnet for fans wishing to snap souvenir photos. Meanwhile, in preparation for this Sunday’s game, the team’s marketing department has prepared two videos to be shown on the stadium JumboTron featuring Duane “The Rock” Johnson. In one, Johnson beats a skillet with a spoon and announces ominously, “Hey Smack Daddies, it’s dinnertime. Come and get your whuppin.’” In the other, Johnson brandishes a skillet and asks, “Can you smell what MeeMurr is cookin?”
